Random bits of humour

Latest from the lame-zone

One night at a restaurant,
Syaima: Eh, Gerilong.. u wanna hear something lame or not? One day Char Siew Pau was feeling hungry, so he ate himself.
Me: Ceh, like that I also can say lar.. one day Tai Pau was in a hurry, so he tapau-ed himself..
*after that, silence.. everybody stopped eating*

MEDBALL 2008

For more photos, do visit my Facebook :p

Whatever

I went shopping while my housemate was presumably enjoying his slumber. When we were about to go for dinner, he sms me to take away some food for him.

Hence I obliged :p lolz.

My 1st mock paper :p

Leong GWK, Looi JK (2008), A case study on laughter - The best medicine? Or a potential cause of death? Annals of MED3062, 1:1-2

Abstract
Laugther has long been considered as an activity to stimulate the release of endorphins (endogenous morphine) in our body, which brings about a sense of happiness. In our case study, the effects of laugther were examined as it is unusual that an intense bout of laughing will cause syncope. Syncope can be considered as a natural protective mechanism which kicks in when cerebral perfusion is reduced. By falling onto the floor, the effects of gravity is eliminated and hence more blood can be channeled to our brain. Our evolution has not caught up with the current living environment, where the presence of many sharp objects might pose hazards when fainting occurs.

Aims
The study was devised when the 2 researchers had nothing better to do after returning home from a dinner cum talk on asthma, and felt inspired to conduct an experiment on the respiratory and neurological system.

Method
A 20 year old female patient was stimulated via MSN with a statement that she likes lalas. This was followed up by another statement that she has old taste, since the researchers were told that she was excited to meet up with a distinguished guest of our university from Australia (who happens to be an elderly gentlemen), so much so it was rumoured that she wanted to hug him if possible. The researchers waited for the subject to respond.

Results
True enough, the subject called up one of the researchers and started laughing and hyperventilating non-stop. The duration of the incident was recorded to have lasted 2 minutes before the subject hung up. The incident was witnessed by the subject's housemate, who was at hand to provide assistance when the subject experienced syncope as a result of hyperventilation, laughter and suspected vertigo attack preceding the syncope. The researcher's consider themselves fortunate that the subject did not refer the incident to an ethics committee, which would have barred the researchers from conducting such nonsensical experiments in the future.

Discussion and conclusion
A literature review conducted reviewed that the only related study so far was performed on a man. Findings from this case study may prompt the need to find out more about the effects of laughter (good or bad) in females via a larger study, since it was shown that women handle stress better than men. Also, there is also a need to exclude the diagnosis of hysterical attack in this case which fits the above description.

No doubt the benefits of humour cannot be denied. However, the risks of inducing intense laughter in a patient with a medical history of vertigo cannot be ignored. More studies will need to be conducted before laughter is being labelled harmful to health in these and other related groups of patients. All in all, we hope that this case study will not discourage people from laughing more.

Also, the researchers will bear in mind to take a proper history and perform a thorough physical examination, to ensure that the subject does not have any risk factors if recruited for future studies, which may include pregnancy, allergies, chronic alcoholism or altered mental function. The researchers may also consider some form of mass stimulation with rescue medication back up to improve the power of such studies if ever conducted in the future. No confidence intervals / statistical methods were employed because the researchers did not fully understand the principles of evidence-based clinical practice as classes on it were conducted too early in the morning.

References:
1. http://yougotanna.blogspot.com/2008/07/1.html
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lala_%28disambiguation%29
3. Bloomfield D, Jazrawi S, 1995, Shear Hilarity Leading to Syncope in a Healthy Man, JAMA, 293:2863-2864
4. Taylor, S, 2000, Biobehavioral responses to stress in females: tend-and-befriend, not fight-or-flight, Psychological Review, 107(3):411-427

1st lame joke of 2008

Ben was sharing one of the worst pick up lines ever..
Guy: Hello pretty girl, is your phone number 012?
Girl: What if I say yes?
Guy: Oh, so is mine. I sense the Hotlink connection between us.

Then I went and continue it:
Girl: And what if I said no? Mine is 016.
Guy: Oh, then I won't follow you.

And would you believe what was my 1st Word for Life / CDS class today in church?
Christian speech.
Lesson 2a: Talking nonsense.

Kuching sightings uncensored

Was buying some tuak (Sarawak rice wine), when spotted this - of all the brands to give your alcohol drink :p

I think it has become a habit of me that I just couldn't resist doing something stupid everywhere I go (anyway who cares, not many people from Kuching knows me right? :p), so after we finished eating Sarawak 'kolo mee' at one of da stalls, I collected everybody's bowls, stacked them up for this pose :p

And the best part? This old couple was sitting beside our table. Watching their reaction (*stared at us, sweat and jaw dropped*): PRICELESS lolz (think they lost their appetite later and the uncle went on to spill his coffee..)

More convention photos coming up..

Final caregroup of the year - Part 1

Honestly, abit stressed and panicky when arrived, coz its been 2 months since I last chaired CG. What 2 do in da following situations leh when confronted with them unexpectedly, having arrived at 7 something? Caregroup starting soon in 20 minutes. Here are some of da wackiest tips of stuff u can do, by God's grace.

1. You arrived and found out got no biscuit and 'sirap' for communion.
Answer: You run 2 da nearby convenience store, buy a 60 sen kaya bun and a bottle of Ribena :p

2. And then you found out got no small communion cups wor.. and ur assistant caregroup leader asked u 2 think creative :p
Answer: You get larger plastic cups. Later, when people bout da size of da cups, say "There, my ACL ask 2 think creative mar.. so since it's da final caregroup of da year, we want 2 think BIG 4 God in da coming year 2008, AMEN?!" lol

3. You just found out dat 2nite's worship leader will be late.
Answer: Since it's just after Christmas, ask everyone 2 share how their Christmas season has been, and what ideal gift would they want. Then, collect thanksgiving offering.

4. No offering bag.. how leh?
Answer: There is a box of Toblerone chocolates nearby - holiday edition. Pour out its contents. Then, looking at everybody, smile and say " Ok people. Since it's da season of giving, let's give cheerfully ya :p"

5. Passing the time 2 worship leader who just arrived.
Me: Are you all excited today?!!
Everyone: YEAH!
Me: So what do we do when we are excited?
Jac: Erm.. praise and worship?
Me: Ya correct! Zhen chong ming (very smart) - confirm got drink Dumex 1 Plus
Everyone: *sweat* *pengsanz* *zhadao*
Me: Anyway, let's welcome our 2 hen piao liang de (very beautiful) sisters; Chloe and Joyce 2 lead us in2 a time of worship, ok?

More talking cock on MSN

I am Gary says:
gary baru habis tengok i am legend

I am Gary says:
:p

wY^ says:
dia ingat dia legend la tu lol

wY^ says:
legend buat lame joke

I am Gary says:
ya betul

I am Gary says:
nanti dia buat satu movie baru

I am Gary says:
dipanggil 'I am lame' - Malaysian edition

wY^ says:
*swt*

There's a Malaysian sequel to I Am Legend, and it's called ' I Am Lame' says:
haha ok change nick

wY^ says:
i am lame movie star

wY^ says:
kita berikan tepukan gemuruh kpd dia

wY^ says:
clap clap clap

There's a Malaysian sequel to I Am Legend, and it's called ' I Am Lame' says:
yay haha

There's a Malaysian sequel to I Am Legend, and it's called ' I Am Lame' says:
tq tq

wY^ says:
yah...i thought u suppose to appear jadi headline of newspaper

There's a Malaysian sequel to I Am Legend, and it's called ' I Am Lame' says:
pertama sekali saya ingin mengucapkan terima kasih kepada idola saya

There's a Malaysian sequel to I Am Legend, and it's called ' I Am Lame' says:
iaitu will smith

There's a Malaysian sequel to I Am Legend, and it's called ' I Am Lame' says:
dulu saya pernah tanya dia "Will u allow me 2 bcome Mr Smith? lol"

wY^ says:
ok..kita commercial break

There's a Malaysian sequel to I Am Legend, and it's called ' I Am Lame' says:
oi oi

wY^ says:
yah

wY^ says:
he will gandingkan u with mrs smith

A Monash medical student's 12 days of Christmas :p

On da 12th day of Christmas my doctor* gave 2 me:
12 tendon hammers
11 stethoscopes
10 tongue depressors
9 crepe bandages
8L chlorhexidine
7 opthalmoscopes
6 really lame jokes
5 latex gloves
4 auriscopes
3 lab coats
2 cadavers
and a good luck when we're in JB :-)

*replaces 'true love'

Filler post - More nonsense

During caregroup, when everybody is introducing themselves in caregroup. Warning: only for professionals, otherwise will scare your visitors away :p

Visitor: Hi, my name is __________ but my friends like 2 call me 'Ah Girl'.
Me (seated next to visitor): Oh hi, my parents also like 2 call me 'Ah Boy'.

Visitor: Hi, my name is Haruco.
Me: Oh, nice 2 meet you, u can call me Naruto.

Lame jokes:
1. (inspired by a certain monkey) There are 10 fishes in a dish tank. When 1 fish died, what happen to the water level? Answer: Go up. Why? Because all the fishes cried. Pfft.

2. A tourist went 2 Spain, and decided 2 have lunch at a restaurant next 2 a bull-fighting ring, where matadors put on a show in front of spectators. He asked the waiter for the restaurant's specialty, and got a huge, round, dark brown coloured ball on a plate in front of him. He asked the waiter what is it. The waiter said, "Oh, it's beef testicles, senor." He took a small portion, and enjoyed it. The following days it became a regular order for him. Then, on the 4th day, the ball shrunk and became very small. The tourist asked the waiter, "How come today's specialty became so small already ar?" The waiter replied, "Si senor, sometimes man win, sometimes bull win."

Lunch quotes:
Me: Eh, finish the salad lar. Just now u go and stack so high, don't waste food. Pizza hut expensive leh.
Ben: Don't want lar. Full already.
Me: U dowan 2 eat, I eat lor.
Ben: Why? :p Izit coz ur mum said the children in Africa are suffering? You know, I got a friend who rebutted each reason why you should not finish your food.
Me: I'm listening.
Ben: First and foremost, even if you cannot finish your salad, it does not mean you are going to pack it and send it there. Even if you are, they may not eat it as it may have already gone bad. Secondly, even if you finish the food, you are most likely to overeat, and when you overeat u end up becoming drowsy and sleepy, may end up crashing your car into a tree, get admitted 2 hospital and hence cause more people to become sad and emotional over what happened 2 u. Thirdly, if everybody eats more salad, then Malaysia will experience a shortage of vegetables and may have 2 end up importing vegetables from other countries. Then, you will be depriving people of those countries of even more food and make their famine worse.
Me: Whatever..

Pre-exam prep talk

My MSN personal message: Can someone tell me how 2 finish studying 2 years of work in 2.5 weeks?

Conversation 1:
Ivy (former CG leader, final year med student): You just have to accept the fact that you cannot possibly finish studying everything.
Me: Ya, lolz. but that does not mean I cant try, right?
Ivy: You wanna die ar?

Note: Honestly, I think now feel like half dead dy..

Conversation 2:
Joo (classmate): Gary, I cannot help you coz I duno the answer too.
Me: U no need answer wan lar.. coz u too old dy.
Joo: How is age relevant 2 da question?
Me: Coz u too old dy, so old people tend 2 b a bit kurang siuman and ask stupid questions..

Later..
Joo: Gary, r u very rich?
Gary: No, y?
Gary: U wanna bcome rich izit? Later I buy 4 u kaya ball..
Joo: Crazy

Ok ok.. back 2 studying!!!!!!!!!!!

Ideas in Caregroup

Ok, basically at S.A.L.T. a few days ago on Thursday, we learnt about contributing to group discussions in a positive and constructive way, then have to brainstorm + mindmap to come up with a creative way to promote a fast food restaurant via a sketch (ironic right? for a med student like me :p)

My group was suppose 2 do 4 Pizza Hut.. and with lame ppl like me around, guess what nonsense we came up with?

The scene takes place long time ago, in a galaxy far far away (no lar.. haha), sorry in some funny place called Antartica.. Mr Happy feet (me) was getting sick and bored of eating fish everyday, so what did he do? He danced to the beat of 1-300-88-2525 song :p
Me: Hello? (in a Chinese Ah Beng voice tone) Pizza Hut ar?
Operator: Yes, pizza hut Petaling Jaya branch, how can I help you?
Me: Erm, I want to order ar.. I heard ar, you got this.. what you call already, Spicy Supreme pizza ar? izit? I want one large one.
Operator: Ok, we will send it to you in 10 seconds!

We have the Digi Yellow Man, who is currently out of a job since he got fired, working as the pizza deliverer.. He hops on his Optimus Kapcai motorcycle and it transforms into a UFO the shape of the Pizza Hut logo :p

Later, when the penguin received the pizza, he went back to his igloo and opened the pizza box.. after walloping a slice, it was so hot and spicy that it exploded in his mouth (BOOM!).. then the entire igloo melted, followed by the whole South Pole..

The End

haha.. overall a fun-filled time..

Leaving for home..

(Photo courtesy of Antonius - copyrighted)
I just realised that I have a tendency of slotting in nonsense, even when it comes to writing encouragement messages.

Pfft.. ^_^"
Ok, never mind..

Anywayz, our dear CCM friend Yoko is going back to Japan after a year of student exchange in Melbourne, and Chosen Gen 6b(ii) had a farewell dinner for her.. wish I was there (haha.. miss Melbourne leh :p) but since I couldnt be there, so next best thing would b 2 email:

Hey Yokohama, hope u still remember me aka brownies guy + lame wannabe of CG6b(ii) :p Sorry ya, been rather busy, that's why nobody has been hearing much of me for quite some time..

haha. anywayz, just wanna say that during the period spent knowing u in CG (2nd semester of 2006 lar), it has been a real blessing.. u know, waiting at Roberts hall 4 church transport, wondering who is Yoko, then all of a sudden this little petite Japanese girl just pops out of nowhere. Thank you for teaching me some Japanese (at least now I know how 2 say beautiful and handsome in Japanese :p lolz hansomu + beautifulu)..

One thing I noticed is that I rarely see you frown or make a fuss out of something, and you do attract people to you (maybe coz Hope Melbourne doesn't attract many Japanese apart from Kei and Yuka, so that makes you guys an endangered species) but ya.. it's good that you are able to engage with our fellow Chosen Gen ppl - keep up the smiles! :-)

and also, keep up the good work of blessing others and being a friend to them when you go back to Japan.. i believe a lot of us have really been encouraged with ur faithfulness helping out in CG and church whenever you can, and also Japanese cooking - Watashiwa pu che tau (I don't know) how to make Japanese food also.. :p but ya, I do hope that this 1 year spent in Melbourne has been a wonderful fellowship and learning experience for you to take back to Japan.. do continue to grow in the love of Christ and share your experiences with friends and family.. I also really appreciated your company along with Ivy, Jason, Jeffrey and Zynne at the airport on the day I left Melbourne..

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
- 1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV) -

til then, take care and enjoy ur farewell dinner.. have a safe journey home and God bless :-)

love with prayers,
Gary aka mad med student

lameness 101 - see what i mean :p

An accidental conversation

GaryLWK86 says:
tell u sumthing stupid lar.. a joke my friend shared with me

*help || TeNsHi || - Who will Stand? says:
?

GaryLWK86 says:
have u heard of the US + Chinese + Malaysian guys encounter with a genie

*help || TeNsHi || - Who will Stand? says:
nope

GaryLWK86 says:
the one where each gets 3 wishes

*help || TeNsHi || - Who will Stand? says:
nope

GaryLWK86 says:
those 3 ppl were wandering around in the desert after their plane crashed and they stumbled upon a lamp

GaryLWK86 says:
rubbing it unveiled a genie who granted them 3 wishes each

GaryLWK86 says:
US guy wanted money, more money and to get out of the desert

GaryLWK86 says:
Chinese guy wanted women, more women and to get out of the desert

GaryLWK86 says:
Malaysian guy, who happen 2 b abit 'suku'..

*help || TeNsHi || - Who will Stand? says:
u huh?

GaryLWK86 says:
wanted alcohol, more alcohol and the US and Chinese guy brought back 2 accompany him

GaryLWK86 says:
:p

*help || TeNsHi || - Who will Stand? says:
ok ...?

*help || TeNsHi || - Who will Stand? says:
n?

GaryLWK86 says:
u didnt get the joke ar?

*help || TeNsHi || - Who will Stand? says:
nope

*help || TeNsHi || - Who will Stand? says:
unless the malaysian dude is gay la

GaryLWK86 says:
*Pengsanz*

*help || TeNsHi || - Who will Stand? says:
such an old story

GaryLWK86 says:
there is a continuation 2 it

*help || TeNsHi || - Who will Stand? says:
oh there is? do tell

GaryLWK86 says:
my friend invented one

GaryLWK86 says:
then as they kept on walking, they stumbled upon another lamp

GaryLWK86 says:
this time the genie that came out of it is a smaller one.. less powerful than the previous one (his elder brother)

GaryLWK86 says:
he said he can only grant 1 wish per person

GaryLWK86 says:
so the US and Chinese guy made a pact and decided 2 let the Malaysian guy make a wish first so that what happened da first time wont repeat itself

GaryLWK86 says:
the genie asked the Malaysian guy 'What do you want?'

GaryLWK86 says:
Malaysian guy: Oh, like that ar.. you go away lar..

Lame attack

It has been a while since I spammed people's blogs with prescribed lamebiotics. Ever wonder what it's like to revisit that old feeling? *Note: read from bottom up*


Oh by the way, today I pulled a fast one on my friend who is doing IT. He asked me, "How do you make a computer go faster, preferably as fast as the speed of sound?"
I answered him, "You load it into a concorde (supersonic jet)?" :p lolz

And to cap it off, a funny quote from our CF president, after I kinda shared that while in Taylor's College, we need to take an additional subject called 'Thinking Skills':
"People in A-Levels cannot think.
People in ICPU / CIMP think they can think."

So where does that leave the people who are in AUSMAT / SAM?

Renal clearance

There was this lecture yesterday by a nephrologist from Sunway Medical Centre. He was telling about this apek who presented with kidney failure. One of the characteristics of kidney failure is frothy urine (like alcoholic beverages, because of the protein present)..

So how did the patient describe his frothy urine?

"Doktor, tadi ar, saya pang liu minum beer."

^_^"