Congratzz

to Jason, my ex-shepherd in Melbourne for his scholarship

Read more here

and to Joseph (ex-unit leader in PJ) and Christine on their wedding



and yay, found the video I wanted for a previous post :-)

3 days..

Currently listening:

Wednesday
Because of my headache, I slept early at 10 pm, but woke up at 3 am. Thought to myself why the heck did I wake up so early for.. Slept back until 5.30 am, then attempted to do a bit of reading for bedside teaching and PBL. Was supposed to do quite a bit of things which somehow ended up not getting done anyway.

Went to the female wards for bedside teaching. Since our Professor was not there yet, went to look for a few patients to clerk. 1st thing that greeted me at the entrance was the wrapped body of a dead patient being wheeled to the mortuary.

Anyway, came across an old diabetic lady, whom I was having difficuty clerking coz she spoke some Kelantanese Malay dialect (which I can't quite grasp what she was saying, but we both laughed since I can't understand her, and she looked at me one kind. at least i tried..). Then there's this lady houseman who came along for her rounds, and looked at me one kind. Duno lar what was her problem that day, she asked me whether I'm a medical student, and what year I am in, but in an apparently snubbing type of manner before going back to the old lady's case files (I'm inclined to think that she looks cocky lar, but shall give her benefit of the doubt, maybe it's just me being too sensitive).

It's a bit harder to do physical examination at the female ward if you are a guy, as you need a chaperon, and patients tend to be reluctant to allow you to examine them. But it's a nicer ward (in terms of being less hot and stuffy, and also more eye-friendly and relaxed, can spend time talking to patients).

Wanted to clerk a particular patient whose bed was at the corner of the ward. Somehow she doesn't seem to be in the mood to entertain me, but she tried to smile lar. When asked of her reason for admission, she told me that she was a housewife married to a police officer with 2 kids, she came in for overdose of sleeping pills. Apparently she was stressed over 'family problems', and the husband always goes out at night after work. Couldn't get much information from her, so looked at her case files. Under Family / Social History; 'Domestic abuse by husband'. I was quite stunned, but not sure how else to respond to her (or what to say), so I just smiled and wished that she gets well soon. *walks away, as much as I want to do the right thing for her, not sure what else I can do*

At night, watched American Idol.. both finalists were outstanding on the way to the final, but on this night, I really liked David Archuleta singing from the bottom of his heart. From the songs he chose, I mean (Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me, by Elton John; In This Moment written by Ryan Gilmore; and Imagine by John Lennon).. I guess it reflected what he feels lar.. his performance gave me a hair-raising moment :p (seriously, don't laugh!)


Thursday
3rd day of headache, but getting better I guess. I walked into the Long Case discussion rather unprepared.. and like my tutor forewarned, "You come unprepared, you DIE." lolz I mean, it turned out ok lar in the end, we like our tutor, and since it was our last class with him (probably for now), he took a photo with us :-)

p/s: Tutor's comments after looking at photo: "Umm.. what is Gary trying to do ar?"
Night time.. rushed back from CG to watch American Idol. David Cook won. Ok lar.. I try to be neutral, I support both of them. It's just, not really a fan of Cook's song choice for the finals. But you have to admit that he is a risk taker to be admired. And somebody was screaming the roof off last night + got high until cannot sleep :p

Ok lar.. at least the final song was nice :-)

Friday
Slept early, but still felt tired when I woke up at 7am. Supposed to wake up at 5 am to study for MCR (ie practical exam). Stressed, havent' really studied for it, but I don't want to re-do, coz not much time already, plus the backlog of work no thanks to my procrastinating. Since 10am til 1pm, stuffed myself into 1 of the clinical skills room, trying to somehow study.. but nothing seems to be going into my brain, so pacing up and down the corridor to the washroom and drink water (signs that I'm stressed).. can I not have the practical exam today? Sick and stressed lar..

When the time came, don't know what to do, just prayed and surrender it to Him, as long as I try my best. Initially, I thought I'm doing the respiratory exam wrongly, but it turned out ok, was surprised myself at how well it went.. The examiner gave feedback that I should be more authoritative (ie not hesitate too much with the patient) and confident. Just need more practice and put in more relevant positives, instead of relevant negatives. I'm happy with my scores!! I PASSED!!! With higher marks than the previous MCR, not coz I'm smart or what, but by God's grace (thank you :-)).. and the sight that greeted me when I exited the staff room was this Indian girl in the cardio ward pointing her finger at me as she walked past hand in hand with her mother, telling her mum, "Mummy, doctor.. doctor.." lolz so cute.

Not again..

I had a throbbing headache today, and was not in a very good mood. And just when I thought I had buried something 2 Sundays ago and decided to start anew..

Anyway, we had our last dermatology clinic posting today. Skin diseases are rarely life-threatening, but it's hard to believe that the stigma associated with it can lead to patients with psoriasis commiting suicide. There was an incident when the dermatologist whom we were with got into trouble with a fellow nephrologist when she prescribed a cytotoxic drug for psoriasis, but it led to renal impairment. But what to do? The patient was begging that if the skin condition doesn't get treated, she doesn't want to live anymore.

On a separate note, there was a lady who came in thinking that she has lupus, was diagnosed with lichen planus, but her husband is refusing to sleep with her because the last time they had sex, his genitals became itchy and he assumed that she has a form of STD. The doctor offered to do a vaginal examination, and it turned out she did not have signs of STD. Good lar in that case, hopefully her domestic problems get resolved soon. One of the many ways a disease can cause problems in relationships.

Ramblings over a long weekend

Friday
In the afternoon, helped cover for a friend in terms of examining a patient for Long Case discussion this coming Thursday. The patient was a child psychologist, who apparently had an episode of headache and fainting. We talked abit, for 2 hours (disappointed lar, missed the Thomas cup badminton semi-finals between Malaysia and China). Being very stressed, he tried to convince me why 2-3 cigarettes a day is good for your health. But I guess, he shared it coz I tried to see things from his point of view lar, non-judgementally..

I think it is a rather tragic story that his mum fainted while he was in India studying, and passed away of unknown causes. Then, after he flew back the next day, his dad fainted while nagging him about the fact that he is the only bachelor left in the family, and passed away at that moment. Learnt he hard way not to try to be funny with patients when asking questions, coz I kind of joked with him earlier about him being single.

It was a rather long time spent there.. Imagine lar a patient offering to share his tea break cake and Milo with you. He was upset that the nurse gave him panadol on an empty stomach, he told me he scolded the F-word at the doctor.. *swt* Then, he asked me to say Hi to one of my HK classmates who was 'cute'.. *swt*

He was commenting that the tutor who took them was a very good teacher. You can see that he was really determined in imparting what he knows to his students wholeheartedly. Of course lar I know, coz that tutor happened to be my tutor also for long case. Initially when I 1st met him, he seemed to be a rather strict, no-nonsense person. But I guess, it's only at the end of your posting, when you are swapping tutors that you appreciate nice people like him.. Respect lar..

Went for gym later with a few friends, and had a chat when we finished. A friend was sharing about a young patient with a terminal disease in the wards, comforting his crying mum in the wards, trying his best to remain calm even though his prognosis is poor. It reminded her of an incident from the past (I'll not mention what). And as much as I don't want to, I got reminded of Year 1 Australian rural week, when I got news of a fellow secondary school classmate dying after a fall from the 18th floor of his university hostel. Then a few weeks later, an uncle whom I was very close to (just spent time with him during Chinese New Year that year, and he seemed fine then before I flew off), passed away 2 days before my mid semester 2 exam due to terminal liver cancer Time span of say, 5 months? The fragility of life.. Here today, gone tomorrow.

Anyway, duno lar how I would have reacted in her shoes in that case, or is it that I have already been desensitised already from a previous incident..

Saturday
After a short interrupted nap, went and watched Narnia at Pelangi. I was lazy to change my Monash t-shirt, so I just put on a pair of jeans. To my horror, somebody who came along decided to copy me (NO, I HAVE NO INTENTIONS OF MAKING YOU MY FASHION ROLE MODEL). Pfft.. Well, minus all the hoo-hah about the Susan + Prince Caspian love scene, it was a pretty good film. I enjoyed it. I guess there are a few things I can sum up from the movie:
1. There is a need to be wise and plan ahead, otherwise rushing into doing something may result in disastrous consequences not only for us, but people around us.
2. The need to be united and humble.
3. It pays to have a simple, child-like faith, even if adults don't believe you (ie go and talk to trees more :p lolz).
4. Sometimes when the going gets tough, it is so easy to want to cheat / take the easy way out.
5. Look at what you have, not what you don't have.
6. God is never late, even at the last minute. And hope never fails.
7. Rodents can be so funny :p

Ok lar, kidding for the last part.. but at the end of the movie I was getting a little emo / high (gazing up at the cinema ceiling).. nothing really lar. As much as I shouldn't be worrying, just reflecting long and hard on a few things lar.. among them was myself having come quite a long way since Melbourne, where I am now at this point, having transited here and there (ie my current state, things I'm going through in JB), and like the movie, me going back there in my final year (kind of completes the full circle right, of a journey which kind of started there). How is it going to be like? What will I bring with me over there? Looking back at that time, what will I see? And what next after that?



Ok.. better stop, thinking too much :p Move on.

Father And Mother I Love You (F.A.M.I.L.Y)

Sunday School kids performing the song 'Thank You' last Sunday. Sorry for the quality though. Happy Mother's Day :-)

Fruit Coketail

Ingredients:
1 mango, sliced
1 seedless navel orange, peeled and divided
1/2 cup kiwi fruit-flavoured (actually any flavour also can) nata de coco, remove the accompanying juice / fluid
1 can of vanilla coke, chilled (any soft drink will do)

Just mix everything together :p I made the mistake of putting ice (dilutes the soft drink) and some people may not like mango, so yeah..

Dermatology (ie skin clinic) posting

Just a couple of things passing by..

Part 1
My Mandarin still suck, but slowly picking up (I think progress 1%, despite having learnt quite a bit). And just when I thought knowing little Mandarin is bad enough, my group asked me if I could help translate for them a Chinese patient whom they were clerking (had a feeling it's going to turn out to be like the blind leading the blind, but nevertheless, I agreed to sit in and try lar). Guess what? Patient decided to speak to us in Hokkien. *swt*

Part 2
An extremely thin, wasted old lady came in for review. Apparently had quite a bit of bruising lar.. she was super thin to the extent that it was as if it was just a layer of skin covering a skeleton. She wasn't eating much lar, coz she is a diabetic, and according to her son, was not happy to be asked to refrain from her favourite foods (ie roti canai, cakes, noodles, sweets etc). So old already still have cravings for such things :p Don't feel like growing old leh, if not then this and that cannot eat pfft..

Then she looked at me as I smiled at her, and thought I was the dermatologist whose name was written on the door. When the actual dermatologist said I'm not, she was like, "This is which doctor ar? Doctor Tan ar?" *swt* My reply: Dr Leong, in a few years time lar :p lolz"

Part 3
16 year old Down syndrome girl lives in Putrajaya, presented with psoriasis. Her mum was sick, and she didn't have a referral letter for Putrajaya hospital, so the aunt had to bring her down all the way to JB for treatment. No follow up, so last treatment was more than a year ago.. Accoring to aunt, she seemed rather depressed and withdrawn lar.. no longer looking forward to going to school. Joint involvement meant that she required a cane to walk, and took a very long time to try to stand up and balance herself in the midst of the pain..

Makes one wonder how lucky we are, especially in a rather pampered, rights-demanding generation who complains a lot at times..

Let the rain of Your presence fall on me
Every day that I live
With every breath I breathe.
Let the rain of Your presence fall on me
Everywhere that I go.
Lord, let Your presence flow.
Rain on me.

Love divine, joy unspeakable,
Overflowing in my soul.
This heart of mine is refreshed and at rest
In Your presence, in Your presence,
In Your presence, in Your presence.

Rural reminiscence

As the juniors went for their rural placement, I can't help but look at back at ours back then in Rawson (some place around 4 hours by bus from Melbourne).. well, all the nonsense we did, whatever you wanna call it :p embarassing.. basically we were playing a game, where the loser of the round will have to forfeit (ie punishment: sing song or dance etc)








The summary of what we went through..


Oh, and not to forget some rather disturbing moments from last year in Segamat :p lolz


Now why do I have a feeling I'm so gonna get screwed by certain people for putting these up..?

What the..?

I find the following article rather amusing :p lolz

The Star
Thursday 1 May 2008

MAT Rempit* in Kelantan will be allowed to show off their skills at a special track to be built by the state government soon, Kosmo! reported.

Kelantan Mentri Besar Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat said the track in Tanah Merah was not a waste of money.

“They (Mat Rempit) always make their mothers and wives worry.

“With the track they will have a proper place to express their feelings and show their bravery and heroics,” he said during the winding-up of the supplementary Budget at the State Assembly.

Went to the Utusan Malaysia website to find the full version of the story, and here's an extension to what was being said.

"Budak-budak ini mempunyai keluarga dan kalau benda buruk berlaku, ibu bapa mereka akan susah, polis dan bomba terpaksa kerja keras bagi menahan mereka dan membantu yang cedera dalam kemalangan."

"JKR (Jabatan Kerja Raya) pula terpaksa membaiki jalan atau penghadang jalan yang rosak akibat dirempuh," katanya.

Only in Malaysia.

*group of daredevil motorcyclists who are a menace to road users

An evening in JB

It's Labour day (ie holiday!), so I went on a bit of a haphazard attempt to capture sunset photos in the evening, something which I hadn't got the opportunity to do (would had loved to joined a fellow Sunway CF friend on the Monash library rooftop back then).. well, I guess, no thanks to somebody, I almost managed kill 2 birds with 1 stone (ie I fulfilled my 1 week exercise requirement in 20 minutes), and nearly got a the perfect JB sunset photo (can be improved, if I had made it to that perfect spot at the right time, and by the way; I want a new camera!!)):p lolz but along the way I managed to snap some photos I didn't really expect to capture lar..

I guess 1 thing I learnt is that there are times when a once in a lifetime opportunity comes by, if you feel like wanting to do something about it, even if not all your requirements / expectations fit in perfectly, just go for it (provided it's not something which is wrong lar).. you might just be amazed at what comes your way. So here are pix from my walk (or should I say 'run' :p) along the way from Samudera to a spot on Jalan Abu Bakar and back..











p/s: Now I have a headache, hurting feet and a sprained toe.

Addendum: Another photo which I took last time around. Rather blur though, but I like this one..

Just one of those bad weeks

Medicine; a profession that combines scientific knowledge, the art of compassion and skill. The hands of an expert surgeon deftly cuts the skin and sutures the wound with such precision that if you take away the surgeon's arms, it is as if he becomes nothing short of being useless. Control. Something which the most skilful of doctors possess. Ever wondered what is it like to lose it?

But before that, it has been an emotionally and physically tiring week for me. Monday: I was coming off some headaches about a few things back home.. then I interpreted a few things which my shepherd said the wrong way.. turned out to be a bit of a misunderstanding lar, which I was stressed about. As much as I try to not put God into a box, I end up doing so at times. And it does get frustrating, the stress just piles up.

I have been sick since Saturday (your usual cold, fever and headaches), probably thanks to sleeping 20 hours in 4 days in the past week. So yeah. And Monday night I was SO tired, but had to cram something right for MCR? Tried studying CVS and respi from Talley the night before until I just knocked myself out to sleep around 11pm. Then, woke up at Tuesday morning 6am feeling guilty that I haven't studied enough, cram the remaining systems (GIT, haemato, MSK, neuro, endocrine etc) from Talley's clinical examination + Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine (since you need to give investigations and management of conditions also) until my brain just cannot take it anymore at 12 pm. Tuesday turns out to be a nightmare. The dreaded phone call came at 2pm, when my examiner called me to the wards to interview a patient. And for all that I read up, I got a patient with asthma. The worst part was, I bungled it up, missing bits and pieces of the history, and was so tensed up (was also trying to do away with note-taking, since it was banned by my tutor) that I kind of messed up my presentation, and also totally forgot about the investigations and management of asthma. So obviously failed lar. My examiner even remarked, "Didn't I take you guys for your 1st PBL on asthma?" Ouch..

Feel dumb lar at times honestly :p, coz I haven't really been studying also. Even if I do, wouldn't remember when being questioned.

Went back home, was super emo that I didn't really felt like talking to anybody lar (I think if anybody came and disturb me I would have slapped him lor :p), so I downed a large set of pizza to vent my disappointment (hey, I had never failed before ok. 1st time). Then, something happened that night. I don't want to mention here lar what it was, but in short, with the mood I was in, it made me felt rather -duno what suitable word to use, my brain was like a blender- lar.. like, "I can't take this anymore. Too much.. I just needed to go away. Alone." But to cut it short, it turned out fine lar in the end. *goes to a little corner, looks up, and thank God*

Went back home it was already 2am in the morning.. Couldn't sleep, and when I finally did, the toilet bowl valve gave way, and the sound of gushing water woke me up at 5am. Ridiculous. I was already lacking sleep like a zombie.

Ben was kind of right lar I guess. I had a bad day. Or a bad week I suppose. We all do. At times, I get stressed up at things which I shouldn't be.

I managed to reschedule my MCR with my tutor before she flies off to Australia. Deadline is 9 May, she will only be back on 7 May, so a bit rush. And of all days, she had to put it on a Friday, meaning I only had 1-2 days to prepare. So stressed lar..Didn't really felt like studying lor.. Just go in only lar, surrender it all to Him. The night before I was feeling sick (again!).

But as I did my MCR on Friday, there's just this throbbing headache which I could not explain. Maybe I'm just too nervous and stressed. 'Good luck's' and 'All the best's' don't seem to be working. Was walking up and down the corridor of Monash. Hillsong MP3 + Pray pray pray.. Just needed some time alone again lar.. Then I went to the wards 30 minutes early for nothing. I look at my tutor, she looked at me. "Stressed wei," I remarked, and we laughed. But I guess when the moment finally came, I was just amazed at how smoothly things went.. it was a more complicated case than asthma previously, but I was getting more bombarded questions correct than the previous one. The best part is, the case was rated 'Medium' complexity (compared to 'Low' for asthma), and I nailed the diagnosis: Congestive Cardiac Failure secondary to ischaemic heart disease! (Note: I checked the patient's case notes the next day) YES! *pumps fist into the air* So happy.. no doubt lar the marks were not as high as I would have loved it to be (ie cukup makan pass), but I'm contented, considering the fact that it was a very strict examiner.. I passed my 1st MCR!

On Friday I got into a little bit of dilemma, basically between doing the popular thing to help some people (which everybody is happy to benefit along, but if discovered, the consequences may be severe) and doing the right thing (unpopular decision which will most likely end up not helping anybody, but my conscience is clear). I chose the latter lar, and yes, I think although we did not get what we wanted, I feel glad about it.

I learnt it the very hard and painful way on Saturday, during church choir, something along the lines of Mary and Martha. On how you can't always get things / circumstances clearly blocked out the way you wanted it. Voices and formation were not even close to perfect. People came late. 2-hour practice ruined your plans when it dragged on from lunch til dinner time. Extra weekday practice sessions came in unexpectedly (I'll admit: I'm a control freak. Medical student, what to do?) But being simple yet focused people, they enjoyed it. They seemed happy in the midst of it all. A simple heart and mind. Something which used to annoy me. Something not very easy for me to do.

I was glad that Sarah (former IMU CF friend, currently in Sydney was sharing, "Sometimes the thing with control is the need to learn to let go, coz you won't know what is going to happen to your patient; whether they are going to die or live." I guess letting go doesn't mean simply throwing things away / giving up on the circumstance. It just means believing that you have done your best, and all things will work out for the good of those who love Him, be it your patient, or other stuff.

Overall, a tiring week. But His grace is sufficient for me.

There is this patient in my ward with muscular dystrophy (forgot already whether it's Becker's or Duchenne's), but he is a young man, in his late 20's / early 30's. he has been confined to bed, and basically what happened was his respiratory muscles are wasted that he finds it hard to breathe. And he was admitted due to a chest infection. It's a terminal familial disorder, 4 of his uncles died of the same disease, and he looks to be headed in the same direction (bad prognosis). His eyesight also seems to be failing. Yet, he still smiles at us during our bedside.

There are times, while interviewing supposedly sick people (some of which might be dying), I just can't help but wonder what keeps them smiling / so willing to cooperate. Acceptance? Something they cling on to? Hope for the better? Or is there something they see in us?

Thank you Lord, for You are a God who answers prayers.

Monash Clinical School pix

A quick one before I run off..

CF on Saturday was good.. learnt a lot despite not worship leading for long time already..

Yesterday and today was supposed to be my group's off day. I was supposed to study and relax.. Then our coordinator phoned me today at noon; "Gary, Prof finish meeting early.. can you guys go for his clinic at 2pm?" Had to rush home to change from T-shirt to formal attire, then rushed through lunch, running up and down.. when we arrived at the clinic, the nurse inside remarked, "Your doctor coming today meh? How come I duno wan?" *swt* So we waited (only 2 people - me and a friend, the rest of the group refused to be contactable), and when he came (at 2.30pm), and went through the patient cases on his table, "Eh, these are not my cases lar.. Umm.. I don't have any patients for you. You guys can go."
*swt*

A friend of mine got a pretty big consultant as his examiner for MCR. And she is literally really BIG (in size) :p, Oh, apparently she is nice to medical students, but when it comes to housemen, she scolds them, "What is this?? Even a MONKEY can do a better job!" So the moral of the story: don't you wish you don't graduate? lolz

Friends in High Places

Although change songs already, this is for Anna and Bruce (CF worship team this Saturday), who were wondering how this song sounded like.

A tale of 2 pictures

I learnt it the hard way that if you neither know what the problem is with someone, nor how to solve it, then it is probably best to leave it alone.

But I also learnt that as long as the person is willing, a simple random act of kindness in helping a stranger in need (no matter how petty / insignificant the request may seem) can make a difference in the long run.

Last week's Easter sermon 2008

Because He Lives.. (Revelation 1:4-18 / 1 Peter 1:3-9)

There was a story in Japan quite a while back, where a car accident occured, resulting in the car and the victim becoming so disfigured, he could not be identified. However, a policeman on arrival at the scene recognised the car as belonging to the chief builder of the city, who turns out to be an influential figure. He contacted the builder's brother-in-law, who arrived at the scene and confirmed, "Yes, this is my brother-in-law's car." So he went back home and broke the bad news. Later in the evening, as friends and relatives gathered to show their support and console the spouse and immediate family of the chief builder, the front door opened, and the person turned out to be none other than the chief builder himself! Everybody was shocked, and it was as if he came back from the dead. However, what was to be joy for one family, will turn out to be sadness and mourning for the family of the person who died. But in the death and resurrection of Jesus, it turned out to be a different story altogether.

1. ..I have the courage to overcome myself
Like it or not, we are the biggest enemies in many things we want to try and conquer.
Matthew 12:34 - You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.
Certain groups of people in the early ages try to keep themselves pure by refraining from certain food, but Jesus told them there is no point doing so, because what comes out from their mouths is even worse.

Many of us enjoy pointing out other people's wrongs (we find it easy to do so), but many times we dare not reveal our own weaknesses, probably due to insufficient courage to face our fears. Deep down within us, we know that there are many things we should not have done. Despite feeling ashamed, yet we returned to it (eg visited X shop while a student, smoking, watching certain shows, uttering obscenities etc). Unless someone reaches down to help us, we can be likened to be on sinking sand.

One way to start overcoming ourselves is to 1st acknowledge that we have this problem. When asked why do they believe in God, some people fear that if they don't, God will punish them. Fearing God is one thing, but what is more important is to know how much God loves you.

Ongoingly, the struggle continues, but know that no matter how tough it is, Jesus is always there - the grace of God will always be with us (1 Corinthians 15:10)

2. ..I have the courage to face tomorrow
Proverbs 27:1 - Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.w
There was another story about a couple who underwent a lot of hardship, and looking at the situation around them, they could not bear the thought of giving birth to their child, only for him to come into this world and suffer. But no matter what happens around us, God will bring out good things because all things work together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

We do have a tendency of being frustrated at "Why so many things happen to me?", but the best thing is that no matter how challenging / hopeless your tomorrow may seem, God will be there to encourage, look after, intercede for us.
Hebrews 13:5 - .."Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
He brings out His purpose in every experience we go through.

3. ..I have the courage to overcome death (1 Corinthians 15:16)
Most successful people can get many things, but fail to overcome the ultimate problem that all of us will face. Death is the last enemy that Jesus overcame for us. For some of us, death is just like moving from one phase to another. Imagine waving goodbye to a ship that has left port, and seeing it disappearing in the horizon. The ship may have been gone, but gone where? We may bid farewell on one side, like the ship going further and further away, but on the other side, it is a different story, as the ship approaches the port to a joyous reception.

There is a story about an old lady who went to her doctor and found out that she had terminal cancer, and was about to die soon. So she contacted her pastor, and told him about it. The pastor said that he was sorry to hear that, and asked what can he do for her. As they discussed plans for the funeral (which of her favourite Hillsongs should be played, which of the bible verses that mean the most for her should be read out etc), she asked the pastor, "When you put me in the coffin, can you put a bible on my right hand, and a fork on my left?" The pastor looked puzzled and asked, "Why a fork?" In Western countries, they used to say after a meal, "Keep your fork for the upcoming dessert (can be Secret Recipe cake :p)." The old lady said, "When people come and asked why, I want you to tell them this - 'The best is yet to come'." In other words, there is something greater we can look forward to.

Bulgarian Idol funny stuff

Yes, in times of stress, this is a major relief :p lolz

Morbid

It was just another one of those weeks. Clinic on Tuesday was supposed to be from 2-4pm. Our doctor stretched it to 6.30pm. And I felt so stupid stupid for saying, "Dr, we make a move 1st ar..", coz he gave me a weird look and asked me "What was wrong with the patient just now?" That night I was tired, so I forced myself to take a 1 hour nap. My brain refuses to go to sleep, so I forced myself and slept all the way from 9pm until 7am.. Woke up with severe muscle aches. And my tutorial homework was left undone.

But one thing we saw was a 22 year old (my age) female clerk who came in with her mother, presenting with primary amenorrhoea (ie no periods all along), and absent secondary sexual characteristics. Symptoms were consistent with her not having any ovaries and uterus, and she had surgery to remove her dysfunctional testes while young. She came in for a check-up, since she has osteoporosis. The thing is, it turned out that she was probably 46XY, suffering from testicular feminisation syndrome. In other words, she was born as a boy, but brought up as a girl, and now one treatment method is to give her hormones to enhance her female sexual characteristics. The doctor asked her, "Nanti saya kasi ubat bagi itu *pointing at the breast* besar, mau tak?" She didn't look too enthusiastic. Identity crisis? I guess only she will know what it feels like..

I'm super tired from the past few nights lacking sleep doing my PBL. Super blur lor walking into tutorial today, but I'm glad I survived a week of grilling on the wards, and the tute, despite putting together a last minute presentation for my homework.

Was at the wards today, everybody seem to be getting sick - from my group members to the ward staff, and there was one corner of the wards from which you can just hear moans and agonic groans of chronically sick people. And remember the Indian guy whom we talked to? He still said 'Hi' to me on my ward rounds. He got 1 leg amputated because of gangrene, but still wasn't getting any better. Today didn't see him in the wards. Weird for some fellow with an amputated leg to walk off just like that. Then, found out that apparently they were attempting another amputation (maybe something was left behind in the 1st one, or it was for his other leg lar), and he died during the surgery due to complications.

For most of today, it was pouring down heavily; from the heavens above.