Filler post - More nonsense

During caregroup, when everybody is introducing themselves in caregroup. Warning: only for professionals, otherwise will scare your visitors away :p

Visitor: Hi, my name is __________ but my friends like 2 call me 'Ah Girl'.
Me (seated next to visitor): Oh hi, my parents also like 2 call me 'Ah Boy'.

Visitor: Hi, my name is Haruco.
Me: Oh, nice 2 meet you, u can call me Naruto.

Lame jokes:
1. (inspired by a certain monkey) There are 10 fishes in a dish tank. When 1 fish died, what happen to the water level? Answer: Go up. Why? Because all the fishes cried. Pfft.

2. A tourist went 2 Spain, and decided 2 have lunch at a restaurant next 2 a bull-fighting ring, where matadors put on a show in front of spectators. He asked the waiter for the restaurant's specialty, and got a huge, round, dark brown coloured ball on a plate in front of him. He asked the waiter what is it. The waiter said, "Oh, it's beef testicles, senor." He took a small portion, and enjoyed it. The following days it became a regular order for him. Then, on the 4th day, the ball shrunk and became very small. The tourist asked the waiter, "How come today's specialty became so small already ar?" The waiter replied, "Si senor, sometimes man win, sometimes bull win."

Lunch quotes:
Me: Eh, finish the salad lar. Just now u go and stack so high, don't waste food. Pizza hut expensive leh.
Ben: Don't want lar. Full already.
Me: U dowan 2 eat, I eat lor.
Ben: Why? :p Izit coz ur mum said the children in Africa are suffering? You know, I got a friend who rebutted each reason why you should not finish your food.
Me: I'm listening.
Ben: First and foremost, even if you cannot finish your salad, it does not mean you are going to pack it and send it there. Even if you are, they may not eat it as it may have already gone bad. Secondly, even if you finish the food, you are most likely to overeat, and when you overeat u end up becoming drowsy and sleepy, may end up crashing your car into a tree, get admitted 2 hospital and hence cause more people to become sad and emotional over what happened 2 u. Thirdly, if everybody eats more salad, then Malaysia will experience a shortage of vegetables and may have 2 end up importing vegetables from other countries. Then, you will be depriving people of those countries of even more food and make their famine worse.
Me: Whatever..