Long-overdue 1st semester updates - Birthdays of 3J's

Joo's, Ji Keon's, Jia Lin's

A Sustainable Church - 1

水
延续生态的气息 大地的脉搏
造就一片生机勃勃的广袤大地
沧海桑田 历久不衰
周而复始 生生不息

水
带领人类挥别茹毛饮血的荒蛮
孕育出令人叹为观止的灿烂文明
惠及众生 造福后世

神的话语
划破空虚混沌 使无变有
立定大地根基 维系宇宙 哺育万有

神的话语
从天而降的清流 属神的甘霖
使教会得洁净 得装备 得能力
进而与黑暗势力展开一场
历时千年 空前绝后 惊天动地的大决战

恶者歇斯底里地发动连串攻势
威逼利诱 软硬兼施
要将教会逼入历史博物馆的坟墓
然而 从诞生 兴旺
到大逼迫后的如日中天
教会焚而不毁的永续生命力令人心生敬畏
一千年的堕落 腐败 黑暗
无法毁灭神欲使教会永续的应许
难怪拿破仑感叹地说：
“世上的王朝都消逝了，惟有教会仍然存留”

纵观历史 教会所到之处
影响有目共睹 铁证如山

从欧洲开始
骁勇善战 野蛮暴力 摧毁罗马帝国的北欧蛮族
遇上神的真道 即被驯化成为文明人
将古希腊文明发扬光大
缔造灿烂的欧洲文明
要认识上帝的渴慕激发了他们探索世界的熊心
现代科学开始抬头
新发明 新发现 接踵而来
带动农业革命 工业革命
人类进入机器时代 生活水平提升
工人福利更受重视 慈善机构应运而生

到美洲
美国人说：“我们信神”
短短两百年 她从一片蛮荒之地
兴起成为举世无双的超级强国
支配全球的政经文教领域

再看亚洲及非洲
福音的登陆带来了光明与盼望
开拓市镇 设立学校 医院
不人道的殉夫习俗 奴隶买卖 成为历史
千千万万被罪奴役 被传统压迫的灵魂
蒙拯救 得释放

时间的考验证明了教会的永续性
跨地域 越文化的影响 彰显出教会的震撼力
今天 神正在执笔撰写
永续教会传奇的完结篇
“荣耀的教会”
里头的主角不是
保罗 马丁路德 卫斯理约翰
威廉克里 马礼逊 李文斯顿
而是每一个活在这末后世代
全心全意回应他
按着他所赐的蓝图
建立起荣耀教会的子民们
神的子民们 神已发出呼召
让我们跟随这些云彩见证人的脚踪
一同完成这最后的篇章
从荣耀主的手中接过
永不朽坏的荣耀冠冕

2 am

Around this time a year ago, at the walkway between the 2 elevators of the 21st floor, in the backdrop of a dark, cool night and with the sea, lights of Singapore and the clock tower in full view, 3 friends had a moment of sharing their aspirations, and what each desired and expected to see at the end of the 5 years. Reflecting upon that fateful day, has all been forgotten?

Midnight sightings

The thing with being in a tertiary hospital which is supposedly the largest maternity unit in the country in terms of deliveries (perhaps also Asia), is that you get to see things which come out of the blue.

1. Saw one case of holoprosencephaly, where the specialist on call had to perform a cephalocentesis because the baby had hydrocephalus on scanning. Baby was delivered but didn't survive.

2. Patient presented with fever, chills and rigors.. Query dengue fever, patient deteriorated and got admitted to ICU. Urinary pregnancy test positive, so a transvaginal ultrasound done found a stillbirth fetus lying at the os, which was later removed.

3. Since the midwife students went home at 9pm, by hook or by crook I needed to get a normal delivery done, so by the time finished rounds, already midnight. Helped to conduct one, but towards the end the baby became bradycardic, requiring MO's help.. got a signature anyway, left at almost 2am.. need sleep, tomorrow going into OT to witness hysteroscopy. Oh wait, MY EBCP ASSIGNMENT!!!!!

More labour room blues

From my experience and observation so far, Chinese patients have the lowest level of pain tolerance during labour. Don't ask me why, I duno. Today got stuck again in another scenario where I reassured a patient in preterm labour and gave her some N2O for pain relief, patient just grabbed me by the arm refusing to let me go (for 1 hour), asking me to stay with her. I think this happened to the extent that doctors and staff nurses who entered the room was wondering whether I am the patient's relative. She requested for me to deliver her baby, but it was not to materialise, coz a senior staff nurse (one who appears to stride with authority in the labour room, that even housemen and other nurses look up to her) ticked me off, "What are you doing to my patient?!". Instead, she asked me to quickly open the delivery pack as she delivered the baby.

For a moment, I was quite upset lar.. wasted one afternoon. But then, it turned out that the patient was so grateful to me, that out of nowhere she requested for my phone number. I was like, "Its my pleasure and job to help you, just a simple thank you will do lar..why you want my number? No need lar.." She repeatedly kept pestering me in Mandarin, "I am really relieved and thankful to you for staying by my side through it all. Other doctors don't really bother about me, they just drop by for a while and left. But I really really insist you write your number down for me leh, I must show my appreciation and gratitude for what you did.."

Problem was I gave in to her, so I duno whether any medico-legal or ethical issue involved or not lor.. any advice?

December 2008 - It was revealed to me that there is something which I need to learn to overcome sooner or later..

May 2009 - That something has been rearing its ugly head for the past few weeks.. Need to learn to take steps to lay down and breakthrough in this area. My shepherd shared that he could only do so much to encourage and help, what eventually happens depends on what I decide to do with it.

Another night on-call

Tuesday. 12 May 2009. My 3rd day on-call.

Morning
1. Let's start off with what the morning has to offer. Sat in with a specialist during gynaecology clinic. Was looking for a patient to clerk, when one Chinese lady approached me, as if she somehow knew that I was looking for patients to clerk, and those I chose probably can have their waiting time shortened. So I clerked her, she presented with primary subfertility for 4 years post-marriage, and she was in a hurry to 'go to work', and didnt want to end up coming back for another appointment 2 months later. When I presented her to my specialist, got abit of a earful, coz there were other patients with conditions deserving more attention than people like her who refuse to wait.

Then when the specialist eventually looked at her investigation results, it was found that she was not ovulating due to low progesterone levels. One of the MOs who came in was asked this question and got grilled badly coz he could not figure out the problem staring at him through the investigation results, coz he did not attend to the clinic often enough. I think he hated me from then on, when he scolded me for accidentally taking his patient's card.

2. 2nd week in O&G, tired, but coping lar I suppose with the workload, tutors seem to be hinting that my knowledge, history taking and case presentation seems to indicate as if it's my 1st day in O&G. And I need to somehow squeeze time to study and finish my assignments and logbook!!

Evening
3. Not many cases. Most of those in the labour ward were experiencing poor progress of labour since morning, and eventually scheduled for C-section. So couldn't really perform normal deliveries. I did sat in with one of the patients who was supposed to undergo trial of scar, but eventually it was decided that she will undergo C-section. Nevertheless, all the medical and midwifery students missed a normal delivery while we were away momentarily following the specialist on rounds. It happened so quick that it was not on the whiteboard list of admissions.

4. There was a teenage preterm pregnancy. Police report cant really be made coz the perpetrator was 17 years old.

5. Sat in the room trying to study while accompanying that patient of mine. She wanted somebody by her side so that she could grab hold of somebody's hand or scrubs, for reassurance and support whenever she feels pain. Had a chat about family, whether I am Malaysian Chinese (to her, I somehow looked Indian Muslim) etc. Prayed that I will somehow manage to do normal delivery for her, but most importantly; the mother and baby's safety lar.. seems like it was not my day when she got confirmed for LSCS surgery at midnight, to be performed at 4am. So I initially thought of going home for the night, since I was super tired from classes since 7.30 am, and I have to wake up early again the next day. As I went to say goodnight and all the best to my patient for her surgery, suddenly I realised there was a new case in the next room.. So rushed in and asked for permission to conduct, and there! I got my normal delivery!! Finally can go home to rest after assisting her episiotomy..

Next day as I walked through the obstetrics ward for ward rounds, I heard somebody snapping her fingers shouting out "Doktor! Doktor!" Turning to my right, there was my patient from last night, smiling and waving to me, asking me to come over to see her baby.. Cute little baby boy, asleep from a long night.. Successful operation, mother and baby safe :-)

A love song on Mother's Day

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Sentuh Hatiku
by Maria Shandi

Betapa kumencintai
Segala yang t'lah terjadi
Tak pernah sendiri jalani hidup ini
Selalu menyertai

Betapa kumenyadari
Di dalam hidupku ini
Kau slalu memberi rancangan yang terbaik
Oleh karena kasih

Chorus
Bapa, sentuh hatiku
Ubah hidupku menjadi yang baru
Bagai emas yang murni
Kau membentuk bejana hatiku

Bapa, ajarku mengerti
Sebuah kasih yang selalu memberi
Bagai air mengalir
Yang tiada pernah berhenti

2nd night on-call

Friday, 8 May 2009
6.30 pm - Started my on-call by standing by a Chinese during her delivery. She was remarried with a 2nd husband. 4th pregnancy (history of 3 miscarriages). I think she was so scared and in pain that her grip nearly broke off my ring and little fingers. Had to reassure her and give inhaled anaesthesia / sedative.. When she finally delivered, aside from suturing the episiotomy, the MO and nurses left the room.. she hung on to my hand tightly, begging me not to leave, coz she was afraid, and lonely coz nobody came to visit her. So accompanied her a further 15 minutes or so lar, reassuring her that everything is fine, had a bit of chat about me being a student, not being able to speak Chinese convincingly (that's why during delivery the staff nurse of mixed Malay-Chinese descent commented that my choice of Mandarin words sounded funny) etc. Then her husband came looking for her when she has been transferred to the Pusat Bersalin, had to show the husband where it is..

10.00 pm - For a moment I thought could get my 1st OT signed off with a Caesarian section.. after a long exhaustive wait for 45 minutes.. the baby came out via normal vaginal delivery on the OT table.. *swt* even the MO to perform the surgery was shaking his head.

Saturday, 9 May 2009
12.45 am - Vietnamese lady married to a Malaysian Chinese husband. Husband was asked to come in to translate the doctor's instructions for the wife when straining / pushing. Instead the husband got so excited, that from the way he encouraged his wife to push, it would seem like I'm watching the scene of a die-hard Japanese football fan's reaction in front of the TV when his team is about to score a goal.

1.20 am - I conducted 2 deliveries.. both ended up as instrumental ones with vacuum coz if we wait any longer, the outcome for the baby is not so good (Argh, I needed to do my normal deliveries!!), but oh well, got one vaginal exam signed off as well.

1st on board

Yes, I delivered my 1st baby today!!! Co-shared with a midwifery student (thankful the staff nurse allowed me to coz usually when midwifery students are there during the day, they get preference over us).. He weighs 3.55 kgs with an Apgar score of 9. Delivery time: 10.30 am in the Labour room. 4 more to go..

p/s: And in my enthusiasm to cross over to help the staff nurse perform an episiotomy upon invitation, I accidentally hit my head on the overhead lamp (twice), in full view of the patient.. *swt* Ouch.. but nevertheless, she wished me all the best :-)

Musings in times of busy-ness

A few repeat incidents occured today..

1. In the gynaecology ward, I was flipping through the case notes of the patient I'm following up on, and the nurse asked me how come the file was so thick.. to my surprise, I realised I was reading the wrong case notes. So I reacted sheepishly as I returned the case notes to the patient in the next bed. The middle aged lady in the bed beside my patient's bed told her, "The doctor looking after you very 'cute' leh.. (hen ke ai) eh are you Malaysian Chinese ar? You got the Japanese look leh etc etc" I was like *swt*

2. I asked the specialist to sign my ward round attendance. She commented, "Ur name is Gary ar? Eh, macam itu Spongebob punya siput kan? Nama pun sama."

That aside,
3. I remembered a Vietnamese friend of mine in YA CG last year.. long time didnt talk to her already.. last Sunday I had the opportunity to catch up with her for a while, since it has been quite some time.. I remembered when I first met her then, was very encouraged to see that although she was a foreigner among Chinese, with language difficulties and despite her boss making it difficult for her to attend CG and camps, she still has the heart to try her best to come. I thank God for her testimony which she shared about her life being changed from being a very pessimistic person away from home, to one who found hope in the midst of a family away from her biological family. She is actively serving in Sunday school and recently she shared that she had been retrenched, and might be sent back to Vietnam soon by her employers. But it is encouraging to see her still hanging in there optimistically, and in return she did comment that I changed a lot since my days in YA. I guess in due time, we all need to grow :-)

10th Southern region and international church camp

A Sustainable Church

Jesus is building His church to be His end-time instrument that will establish His kingdom on Earth. Though difficulties or attacks may occur, the church will survive until God's plan is fulfilled. God wants to use His people to carry out His vision. God's will is for all churches to be sustainable for the Master's use. He will do His best to sustain each local church, but each should do its part as well.

We do not want to build a church that lasts only for a short time, but one that will last until Jesus returns. How can we be sure that our church is sustainable? Come and join brothers and sisters from Southern region, East Malaysia, Indonesia, India and Taiwan, as we find out more!

Date: 4-7 June 2009
Venue: Peacehaven, Genting

Today I got reminded...

..to guard my heart after each small victory (eg not to become like Elijah ran in fear despite after a 'fire fall down from heaven' victory over the prophets of Baal, or Joshua whose army got defeated in Ai after conquering Jericho, because of 1 person's mistake), so that the fire and momentum doesn't get stolen away.

..to ask myself how I can improve and better understand the urgency and importance of this Vision.

..that the key is indeed the man, and whether certain things come to past depends on what the person sees, and eventually his actions.

..that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Thank you for a wonderful sharing over a cup of tea.

Reminiscence

Belated AngPao Sunday photos


Currently listening:

My Redeemer Lives - Stream of Praise

No greater love

Pressing on - vol. 2

1. Midway through my paediatrics posting.. and I realised that I still have a long way to go, from the backlogged amount of things I need to read up, to the online assignments (doing it can be the bane of my existence since I can be real ignorant about EBCP and HSM). Ok, so I've gone from never handling a child before, to watching one die during emergency resuscitation (heart failure) last week, to entering the neonatal ward (finally).. At times during classes, can feel kind of stupid lar when quite a number of questions duno how to answer (still in the process of refreshing medicine and surgery from last year), but at times, I also duno how to impart to people who asked that I survived (or should I said stumbled my way thru) last year not by my ability or intelligent capacity (ie not by how much i studied), but by God's grace..

2. A phone call from home left me with something I don't really need at this point of time: a reminder of past and ongoing issues. Nevertheless coping with God's grace.

3. 2 weeks ago, watched a movie - Fireproof; about a firefighter whose 7 year marriage is falling apart, amid his attitude problems. As they prepare for divorce, his father challenged him to a 40-day love dare to save their marriage.

From the movie, 2 scenes struck me deep inside:
1. Caleb's dad suggested that things probably are not working probably because he is just doing the bare minimum to get past. In other words, need to go all out and give our best.
2. After Day 20, Caleb becomes frustrated that his wife is not responding at all to his efforts, because he has been relying on his own strength. His dad explained to him that the halfway point is the most difficult because you have to decide whether your heart is really into it or not.

Ever felt that with very passing day, as we get busier, as new things pop up, as if you are knocking on a door which will never ever open? But I wanna thank a friend who forwarded his reflection on whether certain things are worth it. In the past few weeks, thankful to have been refreshed.. Stories of Joseph who went from prison to prime minister, the 4 men helping the paralytic through the roof and the woman with a blood disorder who pushed through the crowd; people who got more than they could have ever imagined.

Yesterday Sunday worship, there was a song that really spoke to my heart, it was previously sung by one sister, a teacher, who shared her testimony last week - in summary how people around her did not give up on her, and despite the various trials and challenges, her persistence paid off, her character got moulded as she continued to lay down herself, and she was able to be a blessing and encouragement to many people. A simple song, but one which brought forth a deep longing and revival inside which I have not felt in a while.. Responded, knelt down and prayed.

Kukerjakan VisiMu

Bawaku berjalan bersamaMu
Tuhanlah yang jadi kekuatanKu
Dan taruh RohMu dalam hati ku
Agarku kenal kehendakMu

Chorus
Ini aku ingatlah Tuhan
Ku berikan hidupku bagi Mu
Berapapun harga yang 'kan ku bayar
Kukerjakan visiMu

wei zhu lai mong xiang- ending -
Wei Zhu Lai Mong Xiang (Dream for the Lord)
1st verse
xiang pian li, er shi di mo yang
(The face of my childhood in the photo)

ji li zhe, nian shao di shi guang
(Reminiscing the days of my youth)

ceng jing zai ni wo di xin zhong
(For it has crossed my heart)

yao deng shang yue liang yao fei yue tai ping yang
(To go to the moon, to cross the oceans)

2nd verse
duo nian hou, wo men dou cheng zhang
(Years later when we are all grown up)

gao bie liao, qing se he mi wang
(To say goodbye to immaturity and uncertainty)

ceng jing zai ni wo di xin zhong
(For it has crossed my heart)

bian zhi di meng xiang, shi fou yi yi wang
(Our knitted dreams have they been forgotten)

Chorus
ren sheng di li xiang shi wei zhu fa guang
(Oh, our lifelong ambition is to shine for the Lord)

shi qu lei shui, shi wo men geng jian qiang
(The tears wiped away served to make us stronger)

lu yi ran man chang, bie shi qu pan wang
(Though the road is long, do not lose hope)

tong ku shi, ji de you zhu zai ni shen pang
(Remember that God is with you when you are in pain)

wei zhu lai meng xiang, wei zhu lai fa guang
(To dream for the Lord, to shine for the Lord)

sui ran you cuo zhe dan, wo bu yong ju sang
(Though setbacks will come, but I need not be sad)

zhu shi wo li liang, zhu zhi yin fang xiang
(The Lord is my strength, the Lord shows the way)

wo men di ri zi you meng xiang
(We have dreams in our lives)

you can lan di yang guang
(With bright rays of sunshine)

Latest from the lame-zone

One night at a restaurant,
Syaima: Eh, Gerilong.. u wanna hear something lame or not? One day Char Siew Pau was feeling hungry, so he ate himself.
Me: Ceh, like that I also can say lar.. one day Tai Pau was in a hurry, so he tapau-ed himself..
*after that, silence.. everybody stopped eating*

Looking ahead after a week among kids

I have a friend whom I knew since secondary school, and he is currently studying medicine in Russia. His testimony really blew me away, but anyway, no matter what people tell me about his past, I thank God for his life. Anyway, I'm thankful that since the day we spent some time sharing, he often sends me encouraging emails, one of which contains the following snippets:

How big is your vision?
by Rick Warren

Over the years, I've learned that – contrary to popular opinion – the bigger the vision, the easier it is to reach that vision, and, ultimately, the size of your vision should be determined by the size of God.

How big do you think God is? The issue is not who do you think you are, but who do you think God is? In your dreams for your ministry, don’t limit yourself by saying, “What can I do?” Instead ask, “What can God do in this place?”

Really something that I've been reflecting on for the past exciting week, and how things are going to work out this year - it needs to be more of You, less of me.. As I have shared about God's faithfulness previously, I learnt to give thanks in all circumstances. Got my results back yesterday. Despite the busy-ness and difficulty of Year 3, a significant improvement from Year 2..

How has the past few days been ar? well, just started paediatrics posting. I must admit that it was a daunting experience, since I didnt really have any experience handling a child in a medical context (and I don't do it so well with my little cousins whom I only see once a year during Chinese New Year *rips hair out*). Nevertheless, will need to push myself out of my comfort zone and take up the challenge to learn. Even, a friend asked me, "Don't you have babies / kids in church to cradle / play with?", whom I avoid usually :p lolz

A few unkind words and incidents which I heard left much to ponder about lar.. why do certain people do such things, but as Proverbs 4:23 says - 'Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life'. Something easier said than done, especially when it comes to responding to situations, or exercising discernment and wisdom while sharing, as I found out yesterday and today.

As much as I'm excited, I do not deny that it's going to be busy this year.. Was chatting with my shepherd on the challenges of this year's workload and the prospects of on-calls, and I got reminded of a lesson learnt last year during the peak season of assignments, as he shared with me about a British athlete named Eric Liddell. You can watch his story in the 1981 movie, 'Chariots of Fire'. In the 1924 Paris Olympics, he caused controversy when he refused to run in the finals of the 100m sprint, his main pet event, just because it was held on Sunday. At that time, he got criticised a lot, as people probably thought along the lines of "What in the world are you thinking.." but later against all odds, he won the 400m, an event he was less favoured in, broke the world record for that event at that time, and went on to win more gold medals than he ever imagined. 1 Samuel 2:30 - 'Those who honour me I will honour.'

What to say..

I know I haven't updated for ages.. yeah.. so what's been going on for the past 2 months? The following is the condensed version of events. Well, there's Hope Malaysia national convention.. Helped out with a wedding and Christmas service.. Then, to the disbelief of many who asked, celebrated Christmas in the jungle (ie Hutan Bandar JB) through the university students group survivor camp.. and as preparation 2 days before the camp (and also before UTM semester starts), also watched Remember the Titans, followed by some sharing. Of course, the night after the camp got Christmas BBQ.
Bought a new laptop at JB's PC fair.

Then, helped out with the East Asian Medical Students Conference (EAMSC) in Sunway. Helped mum made cookies for Chinese New Year, tried taking up some Mandarin, Hokkien, driving etc. Tired, been reminded of the need to slow down, especially after trailblazing Kuantan-KL-JB.

Overall reflecting on the year that has been, it has not been easy, with various challenges. Neither will be it be this year. Nevertheless, if one phrase sums it all up of the things which I have been through, the theme song for the above-mentioned wedding says it all - God has been faithful. Will not type any further, but look forward to share if the opportunity arises.

You Are So Faithful
by Bob Fitts

Verse 1
Like the sun that rises everyday
Oh You are so faithful, dear Lord You are faithful
Like the rain that you bring and every breath that I breathe
You are so faithful oh Lord

Verse 2
Like a rose that comes alive every spring
Oh You are so faithful, dear Lord You are faithful
Like the life that You give to every beat of my heart
You are so faithful oh Lord

Pre-chorus
I see the cross and the price You had to pay
I see the blood that washed my sins away

Chorus
In the midst of the storm through the wind and the waves
You'll still be faithful, oh You'll still be faithful
When the stars refuse to shine and time is no more
You'll still be faithful, You'll still be faithful oh Lord

Coming up..

19 December 2008
Results release for MBBS

24-26 December 2008
S.U.R.V.I.V.O.R. Camp
Venue: TBC (some mountain in Johor)

28 December 2008
Balik kampung (grandma's birthday)

1 January 2008
SMCF reunion (not sure able to make it, probably not..)

5/6 January 2008
In KL / Sunway. Doing some catch-up.. err.. consider buying some books?

7-11 January 2008
East Asian Medical Students Conference (EAMSC), Monash University Sunway campus

Other things to do:
Improve guitar skills
Practise more Mandarin
Practise driving