The 90/10 principle

Felt like putting up a lesson my ex-shepherd in Melbourne, Jason taught me 2 years back, which I recalled recently (found out that it was based on a book by Stephen Covey - Yes, the author of '7 habits of highly effective people').

In life, 10% is made up of what happens to you. 90% is decided by how you react.

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane (or people) will arrive late, which throws our whole schedule off. We may be stuck in a jam. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different, because you determine it.

Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.

She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short argument follows. You refuse to give in and instead stormed upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work and can't send her to school.

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay, a near-accident and throwing the $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your upset daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find that you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse, important decisions could not be made, and some work could not be done, because you forgot your briefcase. Your boss was left fuming, and threatened to fire you if it happens again. You look forward to coming home, but when you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

See the problem?