Pressing on - vol. 2

1. Midway through my paediatrics posting.. and I realised that I still have a long way to go, from the backlogged amount of things I need to read up, to the online assignments (doing it can be the bane of my existence since I can be real ignorant about EBCP and HSM). Ok, so I've gone from never handling a child before, to watching one die during emergency resuscitation (heart failure) last week, to entering the neonatal ward (finally).. At times during classes, can feel kind of stupid lar when quite a number of questions duno how to answer (still in the process of refreshing medicine and surgery from last year), but at times, I also duno how to impart to people who asked that I survived (or should I said stumbled my way thru) last year not by my ability or intelligent capacity (ie not by how much i studied), but by God's grace..

2. A phone call from home left me with something I don't really need at this point of time: a reminder of past and ongoing issues. Nevertheless coping with God's grace.

3. 2 weeks ago, watched a movie - Fireproof; about a firefighter whose 7 year marriage is falling apart, amid his attitude problems. As they prepare for divorce, his father challenged him to a 40-day love dare to save their marriage.

From the movie, 2 scenes struck me deep inside:
1. Caleb's dad suggested that things probably are not working probably because he is just doing the bare minimum to get past. In other words, need to go all out and give our best.
2. After Day 20, Caleb becomes frustrated that his wife is not responding at all to his efforts, because he has been relying on his own strength. His dad explained to him that the halfway point is the most difficult because you have to decide whether your heart is really into it or not.

Ever felt that with very passing day, as we get busier, as new things pop up, as if you are knocking on a door which will never ever open? But I wanna thank a friend who forwarded his reflection on whether certain things are worth it. In the past few weeks, thankful to have been refreshed.. Stories of Joseph who went from prison to prime minister, the 4 men helping the paralytic through the roof and the woman with a blood disorder who pushed through the crowd; people who got more than they could have ever imagined.

Yesterday Sunday worship, there was a song that really spoke to my heart, it was previously sung by one sister, a teacher, who shared her testimony last week - in summary how people around her did not give up on her, and despite the various trials and challenges, her persistence paid off, her character got moulded as she continued to lay down herself, and she was able to be a blessing and encouragement to many people. A simple song, but one which brought forth a deep longing and revival inside which I have not felt in a while.. Responded, knelt down and prayed.

Kukerjakan VisiMu

Bawaku berjalan bersamaMu
Tuhanlah yang jadi kekuatanKu
Dan taruh RohMu dalam hati ku
Agarku kenal kehendakMu

Chorus
Ini aku ingatlah Tuhan
Ku berikan hidupku bagi Mu
Berapapun harga yang 'kan ku bayar
Kukerjakan visiMu