Week 2 in General Surgery - Things that keep you going

Currently listening: Hillsong - Love like fire

Surgeon: So Gary, do you like surgery enough to become a surgeon?"
Me: Err.. actually not that keen on things which require quite a fair bit of hand dexterity.
Surgeon: I see, so what do you prefer? Something which requires more of foot dexterity?
Me: *swt*

2 weeks already. Finished tagging and already went through 1 episode of Operating theatre on-call. Imagine the sight of laparotomies and colostomies at 2am in the morning. 2 hours of sleep before starting next day of work, making it 36 hours straight on the job. Nevertheless, I think I can say things have been good so far.

Fell sick while working during Chinese New Year, but no choice lar, since I am saving my leave for convocation in Sunway. Being a 1st poster in the ward, among mostly more senior and experienced housemen can be intimidating, but should be fine as time passes. My philosophy has always been 'I may not be the smartest, but I try to compensate for it through hard work'. Yes, did get scolded by surgeons for things which are not really your fault, MOs who are hard on you coz I was quite blur having forgotten a lot of things since leaving med school, nurses with attitude problems, and colleagues who disappear and dump their work on you.. Also have been thrown into the deep end by being called down to review patients in the clinic, despite being only 2 weeks on the job (due to staff shortage).

However, amidst all these, able to see the positive results of going the extra mile for your patients, some of whom actually walked up all the way to your ward workstation to shake your hand in gratitude, while 1 Chinese patient gave me an angpau and orange.

There was also a difficult moment with an elderly Malay patient. She was a known case of anaemia, had cholelithiasis and was due for a cholecystectomy. Initially she was allowed to eat, then fasted, and the cycle repeated for 3 days in a row as her surgery kept getting postponed. Her young daughter, whom had taken weeks of leave from her workplace in Simpang Renggam, broke down in front of me, at the sight of her mother having to endure such a fate. Duno what to do or say, could only offer reassurance and a packet of tissue. When the surgery was over, the T-tube dislodged, and they had to go back in to adjust it and correct the peritonitis. By the time they were done, she had severe metabolic acidosis and altered mental status. Despite her daughter's frantic cries at the bedside, she could neither recognise her, nor me. Honestly, I was trying very hard not to shed a tear.. but we did all we could.

To cut the long story short, she did come out of ICU a few days later, anxious to go home after bouts of physiotherapy. Today although I was not the one to write her discharge summary (as I'm not rostered for work), she doesn't need me now - her family is currently by her side, and the last sight as I walked out of the ward was that of her daughter's face brimming with a smile. Priceless :)