More decisions..

Currently listening: 赞美之泉 - 认定你 (Stream of Praise - I will trust in You)

Basically I have just under 2 weeks left before the end of my tenancy at my current apartment unit, and with my housemate moving out, will have to decide whether to continue my present tenancy (either I find somebody to take up the other room, or end up paying RM1500 instead of RM900 currently). In addition, with the 3 September deadline looming, have to decide whether to re-examine the option of postponing my graduation and take up a BMedSc research degree in order to remain as a student (last year, financial support was an issue, and this year, I haven't even approached anybody about available projects, what more the money required for the fees, as I will be enrolled as an Australian student).

In view of these major decisions, my shepherd challenged me to (in addition to the NECF 40-day fast and pray) fast for a full 48 hours (no food, only drink plain water) and spend some time seeking God. Initially found it to be a struggle, since I need to be involved with presentations and assessments at the hospital, and on 1 of the days I was not feeling well.

Nevertheless, it was 2 days of breakthrough. For the 1st day, as mentioned in the previous post, God reminded me from a previous sermon by brother Elijah that joy is not a feeling (like happiness), to be joyful is a decision, whether or not things are going according to our plans - as long as we give our best.

For the 2nd day, God reminded me of the theme of trusting Him. Many times we have our own ideas or plans which we intend to carry out (sometimes we say it's for God), or even things we like and hold on to, but it is human nature to do things relying on our own understanding, or to end up being self-centred. However, today we know that God sees the bigger picture, his ways and thoughts are higher than ours. For example, would Mary have ever imagined of herself being chosen to give birth to Jesus? Or Paul, who ended up travelling across Asia and Europe preaching to the Gentiles? Because God loves us, He knows what is best for us.

Since I was in charge of games, was actually wondering how to come up with one which fits the theme. It was a pleasant surprise that after much thinking, the idea came instantly during lunch prayer, and that night's lifegroup flow from the introduction, to the games, to the praise and worship all fell into place and set up nicely for the message later by God's grace.

Today I received a text message from the accommodation office saying that the landlady rejected my request for a rental reduction. No doubt that the stress of the situation is there, but at the same time there exists an inner peace, one that compels me to praise Him, despite the current situation.

Finally, as I had my dinner after 48 hours last night, what I figured was impossible at 1st (I do find it difficult to resist food :p) was achieved by God's grace.