"I'm happy with your basic knowledge, but not with your initiative in terms of your logbook."
What my supervisor said after my assessment, left me wondering where am I going to get certain procedures done, especially since we don't see much of certain cases. Was also feeling rather tired and discouraged with the way things are going.
We had our church family day on the day after Labour Day. I was post-neurosurgical on call and came straight after work, so I did not expect to play a major part in the activities apart from being on 1st aid duty, but somehow leaders asked me to join in, which I did.
There were 4 teams, and I was in Green team, same as 2 years ago. It was an exciting time from the word go, with plenty of action and drama from the 1st game. Nevertheless, despite taking the lead, we finished last. By the time we reached the final game, we were in 2nd last place, and I was left telling myself,"Same old story as the last time around, nothing to cheer about, even our members seem the more quiet type, not possessing the fiery war cry of Red team, or the fighting spirit of Yellow team." So it came as no surprise that when I was asked to participate in the final game - tug of war, I was not enthusiastic at all (the last time I played, I had a bad experience of vomiting as a result of overexertion). Surprisingly, we won and managed to enter the finals.
When we were up against Blue team, I took a look and I was like, "What the..?" Their team possessed 2 'tanks / bulldozers' (whatever you call them), pastor, as well as experienced vegetables farmers from family group who are used to working the soil. I turned around to have a look.. whom do we have? Anyway, our team captain challenged us to pull in unison at a certain angle and face upwards. When the time came, I told myself that regardless of what happens, I just do not want to let go of the rope, I do not want to give up. I didn't know how everybody was doing, but I knew I was pulling like a madman. After no movement towards either side for some time, eventually somehow breakthrough came to our side. We won the 1st round, and for the 2nd round everybody gave their all, even though some of us felt that we had nothing left.
When the dust settled, I collapsed to the ground. We have won 1st place. As much several people came up to me with compliments about how well we did, how much of a difference it would make if I could transform that passionate display of strength into soul-winning etc, I was left with tears welling up in my eyes. Just felt like God was trying to encourage me on that day never to give up, keep pushing, but at the same time also to lay down. At the end of the day, no matter what happens, do what is humanly possible, leave the results to Him. He is the one who will carry you through, like the single pair of footprints in the sand.
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