Fighting a losing battle..?

Cancer.. The word that most of the time brings shock, grief, despair and misery into our lives the moment we hear it.. It's like when you get it or if you see someone else get it (be it a loved one or a patient at a hospital), it can totally be a life-changing, or rather nerve-wrecking experience.

I have to admit that for some reason cancer runs in my family.. I witnessed my cousins losing their mother to breast cancer a few years ago. My uncle whom I'm quite close to passed away 2 weeks ago as a result of terminal liver cancer. For my selective, I witnessed 2 surgeries (a modified radial neck dissection and a laryngectomy) to remove cancerous lesions and lymph nodes.. and here I am doing my evaluating popular information assignment on a newspaper article entitled 'Cervical Cancer Vaccine Breakthrough'.. kind of ironic doesn't it? and with the way my junk food habits are going, it's not going to do me any good.. i was a bit freaked out when I saw a slightly swollen "something" on my palatine tonsil in the mirror that day.. not sure whether i should get that checked out, but my cough has improved though..

By the way, i passed my mid sem exam (despite the circumstances and the way i reacted to it)..

For the surgery, 1 of them was a 79 year old widow who might have experienced an acute myocardial infarction (AMI) during the neck dissection which had to be called off.. She was later found to have a triple vessel disease and left ventricular disorder (severe heart conditions, meaning that by right, she should not have been operated on).. she also had skin lesions (suspected melanoma) and an adenoma in her descending colon.. the surgeon rang up the daughter to ask her to come to the hospital and consider the option of palliative care..

I'm not trying to scare people regarding cancer.. It's just that sometimes i wonder how oncologists deal with these things day in day out.. It happens every hour, everyday, but I think there was a time when i've already come to a point where I would no longer want to encounter anymore people dying of cancer or any other reason.. I'm already sick of too many people around me dying.. it's like me shouting to God, "CAN YOU STOP LETTING PEOPLE DIE OF CANCER??!!!" (that's before last week's CG teaching.. but I'm still learning though.. probably being reminded by Him of the urgency of the situation) and i know this sounds selfish, but honestly i wouldn't want to be in the patient's shoes either..

..... Although this is a ranting post, i just remembered today's shepherding lesson on the God's View on Life: The 3T's - Life as a Test, Life as a Trust, and Life as a Temporary Assignment..

Hence, i shall not elaborate anymore on this.. my points seem scattered and I don't seem to be making any sense..
final point.. remembering Sarah in prayer.. may God pull you through..