Friday, September 01, 2006

Regrets - When failure is not an option

Earlier this year during Chinese New Year in January, I promised an uncle of mine whom I was quite close to 3 things:
1. I will send him a postcard and photos of myself in Australia (since he likes taking photos and has never been to Australia before)
2. I will bring him to tour around Melbourne at the end of the year if he decides to come down...
3. I will study hard and do well in my course exams..

I miss him. I actually look forward to see him every year when I go back to Malacca for Chinese New Year.. We'll have a nice chat and I still remembered some funny moments spent with him when I was a kid..

Yes, I took lots of photos.. but I took the first 2 promises for granted (in other words, I didn't really bothered about them, until now)..
Parents msged me on Monday that he passed away due terminal liver cancer... unexpected news.. I wasn't actually ready for him to leave me so soon..

Cancer actually runs in both sides of my family.. my aunt passed away some time back as a result of breast cancer..

Anyway, this was 2 days before the major mid sem exam which i was so ill-prepared for.. At first, I honestly didn't know how to react to that..
Despite the news hitting me right smack in the face, I couldn't really find an excuse to forgive myself for how I reacted to it..
"Gary, concentrate.. you have no time to be grieving about this now.. You still got a lot to study (including semester 1 stuff)... YOU NEED TO THROW ALL YOUR CURRENT EMOTIONS OUT THE WINDOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

.........................................................................................................................................................

throw it out the window? What in the world was I thinking??

...............

Failure rate for this killer exam last year was 100 people out of 300.. how numbers can be so blinding..

Yes, there will be regrets.. There will be trouble.. But there's just too much of it already this year.. First it was my Japanese friend who took his own life, then a friend back home who fell off the 18th floor.. now it's this.. what next?

1 comment:

Jaszz said...

It's not what happens to you that matters....it's what happens in you as a result. Lean not on your own understanding....There will always be something positive to take away from.