Today I got reminded...

..to guard my heart after each small victory (eg not to become like Elijah ran in fear despite after a 'fire fall down from heaven' victory over the prophets of Baal, or Joshua whose army got defeated in Ai after conquering Jericho, because of 1 person's mistake), so that the fire and momentum doesn't get stolen away.

..to ask myself how I can improve and better understand the urgency and importance of this Vision.

..that the key is indeed the man, and whether certain things come to past depends on what the person sees, and eventually his actions.

..that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Thank you for a wonderful sharing over a cup of tea.

Reminiscence

Belated AngPao Sunday photos


Currently listening:

My Redeemer Lives - Stream of Praise

No greater love

Pressing on - vol. 2

1. Midway through my paediatrics posting.. and I realised that I still have a long way to go, from the backlogged amount of things I need to read up, to the online assignments (doing it can be the bane of my existence since I can be real ignorant about EBCP and HSM). Ok, so I've gone from never handling a child before, to watching one die during emergency resuscitation (heart failure) last week, to entering the neonatal ward (finally).. At times during classes, can feel kind of stupid lar when quite a number of questions duno how to answer (still in the process of refreshing medicine and surgery from last year), but at times, I also duno how to impart to people who asked that I survived (or should I said stumbled my way thru) last year not by my ability or intelligent capacity (ie not by how much i studied), but by God's grace..

2. A phone call from home left me with something I don't really need at this point of time: a reminder of past and ongoing issues. Nevertheless coping with God's grace.

3. 2 weeks ago, watched a movie - Fireproof; about a firefighter whose 7 year marriage is falling apart, amid his attitude problems. As they prepare for divorce, his father challenged him to a 40-day love dare to save their marriage.

From the movie, 2 scenes struck me deep inside:
1. Caleb's dad suggested that things probably are not working probably because he is just doing the bare minimum to get past. In other words, need to go all out and give our best.
2. After Day 20, Caleb becomes frustrated that his wife is not responding at all to his efforts, because he has been relying on his own strength. His dad explained to him that the halfway point is the most difficult because you have to decide whether your heart is really into it or not.

Ever felt that with very passing day, as we get busier, as new things pop up, as if you are knocking on a door which will never ever open? But I wanna thank a friend who forwarded his reflection on whether certain things are worth it. In the past few weeks, thankful to have been refreshed.. Stories of Joseph who went from prison to prime minister, the 4 men helping the paralytic through the roof and the woman with a blood disorder who pushed through the crowd; people who got more than they could have ever imagined.

Yesterday Sunday worship, there was a song that really spoke to my heart, it was previously sung by one sister, a teacher, who shared her testimony last week - in summary how people around her did not give up on her, and despite the various trials and challenges, her persistence paid off, her character got moulded as she continued to lay down herself, and she was able to be a blessing and encouragement to many people. A simple song, but one which brought forth a deep longing and revival inside which I have not felt in a while.. Responded, knelt down and prayed.

Kukerjakan VisiMu

Bawaku berjalan bersamaMu
Tuhanlah yang jadi kekuatanKu
Dan taruh RohMu dalam hati ku
Agarku kenal kehendakMu

Chorus
Ini aku ingatlah Tuhan
Ku berikan hidupku bagi Mu
Berapapun harga yang 'kan ku bayar
Kukerjakan visiMu

wei zhu lai mong xiang- ending -
Wei Zhu Lai Mong Xiang (Dream for the Lord)
1st verse
xiang pian li, er shi di mo yang
(The face of my childhood in the photo)

ji li zhe, nian shao di shi guang
(Reminiscing the days of my youth)

ceng jing zai ni wo di xin zhong
(For it has crossed my heart)

yao deng shang yue liang yao fei yue tai ping yang
(To go to the moon, to cross the oceans)

2nd verse
duo nian hou, wo men dou cheng zhang
(Years later when we are all grown up)

gao bie liao, qing se he mi wang
(To say goodbye to immaturity and uncertainty)

ceng jing zai ni wo di xin zhong
(For it has crossed my heart)

bian zhi di meng xiang, shi fou yi yi wang
(Our knitted dreams have they been forgotten)

Chorus
ren sheng di li xiang shi wei zhu fa guang
(Oh, our lifelong ambition is to shine for the Lord)

shi qu lei shui, shi wo men geng jian qiang
(The tears wiped away served to make us stronger)

lu yi ran man chang, bie shi qu pan wang
(Though the road is long, do not lose hope)

tong ku shi, ji de you zhu zai ni shen pang
(Remember that God is with you when you are in pain)

wei zhu lai meng xiang, wei zhu lai fa guang
(To dream for the Lord, to shine for the Lord)

sui ran you cuo zhe dan, wo bu yong ju sang
(Though setbacks will come, but I need not be sad)

zhu shi wo li liang, zhu zhi yin fang xiang
(The Lord is my strength, the Lord shows the way)

wo men di ri zi you meng xiang
(We have dreams in our lives)

you can lan di yang guang
(With bright rays of sunshine)

Latest from the lame-zone

One night at a restaurant,
Syaima: Eh, Gerilong.. u wanna hear something lame or not? One day Char Siew Pau was feeling hungry, so he ate himself.
Me: Ceh, like that I also can say lar.. one day Tai Pau was in a hurry, so he tapau-ed himself..
*after that, silence.. everybody stopped eating*

Looking ahead after a week among kids

I have a friend whom I knew since secondary school, and he is currently studying medicine in Russia. His testimony really blew me away, but anyway, no matter what people tell me about his past, I thank God for his life. Anyway, I'm thankful that since the day we spent some time sharing, he often sends me encouraging emails, one of which contains the following snippets:

How big is your vision?
by Rick Warren

Over the years, I've learned that – contrary to popular opinion – the bigger the vision, the easier it is to reach that vision, and, ultimately, the size of your vision should be determined by the size of God.

How big do you think God is? The issue is not who do you think you are, but who do you think God is? In your dreams for your ministry, don’t limit yourself by saying, “What can I do?” Instead ask, “What can God do in this place?”

Really something that I've been reflecting on for the past exciting week, and how things are going to work out this year - it needs to be more of You, less of me.. As I have shared about God's faithfulness previously, I learnt to give thanks in all circumstances. Got my results back yesterday. Despite the busy-ness and difficulty of Year 3, a significant improvement from Year 2..

How has the past few days been ar? well, just started paediatrics posting. I must admit that it was a daunting experience, since I didnt really have any experience handling a child in a medical context (and I don't do it so well with my little cousins whom I only see once a year during Chinese New Year *rips hair out*). Nevertheless, will need to push myself out of my comfort zone and take up the challenge to learn. Even, a friend asked me, "Don't you have babies / kids in church to cradle / play with?", whom I avoid usually :p lolz

A few unkind words and incidents which I heard left much to ponder about lar.. why do certain people do such things, but as Proverbs 4:23 says - 'Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life'. Something easier said than done, especially when it comes to responding to situations, or exercising discernment and wisdom while sharing, as I found out yesterday and today.

As much as I'm excited, I do not deny that it's going to be busy this year.. Was chatting with my shepherd on the challenges of this year's workload and the prospects of on-calls, and I got reminded of a lesson learnt last year during the peak season of assignments, as he shared with me about a British athlete named Eric Liddell. You can watch his story in the 1981 movie, 'Chariots of Fire'. In the 1924 Paris Olympics, he caused controversy when he refused to run in the finals of the 100m sprint, his main pet event, just because it was held on Sunday. At that time, he got criticised a lot, as people probably thought along the lines of "What in the world are you thinking.." but later against all odds, he won the 400m, an event he was less favoured in, broke the world record for that event at that time, and went on to win more gold medals than he ever imagined. 1 Samuel 2:30 - 'Those who honour me I will honour.'

What to say..

I know I haven't updated for ages.. yeah.. so what's been going on for the past 2 months? The following is the condensed version of events. Well, there's Hope Malaysia national convention.. Helped out with a wedding and Christmas service.. Then, to the disbelief of many who asked, celebrated Christmas in the jungle (ie Hutan Bandar JB) through the university students group survivor camp.. and as preparation 2 days before the camp (and also before UTM semester starts), also watched Remember the Titans, followed by some sharing. Of course, the night after the camp got Christmas BBQ.
Bought a new laptop at JB's PC fair.

Then, helped out with the East Asian Medical Students Conference (EAMSC) in Sunway. Helped mum made cookies for Chinese New Year, tried taking up some Mandarin, Hokkien, driving etc. Tired, been reminded of the need to slow down, especially after trailblazing Kuantan-KL-JB.

Overall reflecting on the year that has been, it has not been easy, with various challenges. Neither will be it be this year. Nevertheless, if one phrase sums it all up of the things which I have been through, the theme song for the above-mentioned wedding says it all - God has been faithful. Will not type any further, but look forward to share if the opportunity arises.

You Are So Faithful
by Bob Fitts

Verse 1
Like the sun that rises everyday
Oh You are so faithful, dear Lord You are faithful
Like the rain that you bring and every breath that I breathe
You are so faithful oh Lord

Verse 2
Like a rose that comes alive every spring
Oh You are so faithful, dear Lord You are faithful
Like the life that You give to every beat of my heart
You are so faithful oh Lord

Pre-chorus
I see the cross and the price You had to pay
I see the blood that washed my sins away

Chorus
In the midst of the storm through the wind and the waves
You'll still be faithful, oh You'll still be faithful
When the stars refuse to shine and time is no more
You'll still be faithful, You'll still be faithful oh Lord

Coming up..

19 December 2008
Results release for MBBS

24-26 December 2008
S.U.R.V.I.V.O.R. Camp
Venue: TBC (some mountain in Johor)

28 December 2008
Balik kampung (grandma's birthday)

1 January 2008
SMCF reunion (not sure able to make it, probably not..)

5/6 January 2008
In KL / Sunway. Doing some catch-up.. err.. consider buying some books?

7-11 January 2008
East Asian Medical Students Conference (EAMSC), Monash University Sunway campus

Other things to do:
Improve guitar skills
Practise more Mandarin
Practise driving

Little things..

Exams over already, but I'm thankful for my shepherd lor yesterday afternoon for driving down all the way from Skudai to pass me a bottle of chicken essence as a little token of encouragement :-) It rained super heavily after that, so I was actually wondering how did he drive off to Jusco Taman Universiti after that..anyway, thanks!

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests unto God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging (ISFJ)

A while back quite a number of people bugging me to do a personality test. Duno what all the hype is about, but just putting my results for fun here:

The Nurturer

As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.

ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.

ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.

ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.

ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.

The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.

More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.

Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.

The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.

ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".

The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.

UL's timely message, with 8 days to exams

Currently listening to:

Psalm 77:11-12
I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.

When we meet new trials, review how good God has been to us, and this will strengthen our faith to move on!

I may not have everyone's email / Facebook contact, but here's wishing the 2nd year meddies (who will be having their exams tomorrow) all the best, despite the long road ahead of them :-) Gambate!

The 90/10 principle

Felt like putting up a lesson my ex-shepherd in Melbourne, Jason taught me 2 years back, which I recalled recently (found out that it was based on a book by Stephen Covey - Yes, the author of '7 habits of highly effective people').

In life, 10% is made up of what happens to you. 90% is decided by how you react.

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane (or people) will arrive late, which throws our whole schedule off. We may be stuck in a jam. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different, because you determine it.

Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.

She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short argument follows. You refuse to give in and instead stormed upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work and can't send her to school.

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay, a near-accident and throwing the $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your upset daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find that you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse, important decisions could not be made, and some work could not be done, because you forgot your briefcase. Your boss was left fuming, and threatened to fire you if it happens again. You look forward to coming home, but when you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

See the problem?

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Verse 1
When troubles come, I trust in You
For I know You will lead me through
And I know You are faithful, till the end

Verse 2
And when the storms are drawing near
When I'm with You I don't have to fear
You're my shepherd on whom I can depend

Pre-chorus
Through the day, through the night
I know You're always by my side

Chorus
Lord You are always here with me
There is no changing God in thee
You are the same yesterday and today
And forevermore

Here on Your promises I stand
You hold my future in Your hands
My solid rock, almighty God
I worship You

MEDBALL 2008

For more photos, do visit my Facebook :p

Final stretch

Watched 'Facing the Giants' last Saturday. Despite 2008 coming to an end, let's see this final quarter as a new beginning to give God our best touchdown for one final time this year!

Plot
In six years of coaching football, Grant Taylor has never led his Shiloh Eagles to a winning season. After learning that he and his wife Brooke face infertility, Grant discovers that a group of fathers are secretly organizing to have him dismissed as head coach. His car breaks down frequently, and his house is falling apart around him. Devastated by his circumstances, he cries out to God in desperation. When Grant receives a message from an unexpected visitor, he searches for a stronger purpose for his football team. He challenged his players to believe God for the impossible on and off the field. When faced with unbelievable odds, the Eagles must step up to their greatest test of strength and courage. What transpires is a dynamic story of the fight between faith and fear.

Of bus rides and movies

I'm back in Kuantan for around a week for the Hari Raya break. Interestingly enough, the 6-hour bus ride this time turned out to be a quiet one, but past 7pm, 1st time seeing the breaking of fast in the bus, when the driver switched on the lights and left them on for a while so that those who were fasting can have their meals. Well, something different from my previous 2 bus rides, which consisted of conversations; one with an aunty visiting her niece in Klang during the bus ride to KL, another with a mother and son while stopping by in Mersing for an early dinner.

On a separate note, I remembered a movie we watched during YA some time back, titled "Freedom Writers". It was based on a true story. It's amazing how 1 person can make a difference in the lives of others by continuing to believe in their potential.

Plot
The film opens with footage of the Los Angeles riots of 1992 and introduces Eva (April Lee Hernández), a Latina whose father was wrongly arrested for supposed retaliation to a drive-by shooting. She is initiated in a gang, and only goes to Wilson High School because her choice was to either go to boot camp or go to school. The Long Beach high school and its area are the place of a gang war, where hatred and racism is abound. Meanwhile, naive first-time teacher Erin Gruwell (Hilary Swank) gets a job teaching freshman English at Wilson High School. Her first day at school is a shock to her, as she sees a fight almost break out in her classroom and a full scale gang battle at the school. Her students do not obey her and continuously talk back to her.

One night, Eva and a Cambodian refugee, Sindy (Jaclyn Ngan), find themselves in the same convenience store. Another student, Grant Rice (Armand Jones), is frustrated at losing an arcade game and demands a refund from the owner. When he storms out, Eva's boyfriend attempts a driveby shooting on him, accidentally killing Sindy's boyfriend. As Eva is a witness, she must testify at court; she intends to protect her own kind in her testimony.

At school, Gruwell intercepts a racist drawing of one of her students, and uses it to teach them about the Holocaust. Despite various challenges, she gradually begins to earn their trust, and buys them composition books to record a diary, in which they talk about their experiences of being abused, seeing their friends die, and being evicted. Determined to reform her students, she takes two part-time jobs to pay for more books and spends more time at school, to the disappointment of her husband (Patrick Dempsey). Her students start to behave with respect and learn more, and a transformation is especially visible in one of her students, Marcus (Jason Finn). She invites several Holocaust survivors to talk with her class about their experiences, and takes them on a field trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Meanwhile, her unorthodox teaching methods are scorned by her colleagues and racist department chair Margaret Campbell (Imelda Staunton). The next year comes, and Gruwell teaches her class again for sophomore year.

In class, when reading The Diary of a Young Girl, or Anne Frank's diary, they decide to invite Miep Gies over to talk to them. Initially, the task seemed impossible, but after working together to organise a fundraising event which gained publicity in the local media. They raised enough money to send her over, and she tells them her experiences hiding Anne Frank. When Marcus tells her that she is his hero, she denies it, claiming she was merely doing the right thing. Her denial causes Eva to rethink lying during her testimony. When she testifies, she finally breaks down and tells the truth. Despite being assaulted by her own gang members later for betraying them, she and Sindy became good friends in class.

Meanwhile, Gruwell gives her students a project to write their diary in the form of a book. She compiles the projects into a book and names it The Freedom Writer Diaries, after the Freedom Riders. Unfortunately, her commitment to the students took a toll on her relationship with her husband, who divorces her. To make matters worse, Margaret tells her she cannot teach her kids for their junior year, intending to hand over the class to another teacher from a higher up class, but practises discrimination. Despite the circumstances, she fights this decision, eventually persevering to convince the district education superintendent to allow her to teach her kids' junior and senior year. The film ends with a note that Gruwell successfully brought many of her students to graduation and college.

Conversations

1. Just finished class and was walking home from the wards last week.
Out came a man in a wheelchair grimacing in pain due to a leg ulcer.
A Chinese lady wheeling him appeared lost, wondering where is the clinic. I couldn't speak much Mandarin, so she spoke to me in Bahasa Melayu.
A daughter with dyed hair and punk clothes scolding her mum loudly in public as to why she was wasting her time trying to speak to me in Bahasa Melayu if I could speak Mandarin. Had to explained to her that my Mandarin was limited, then she shyly apologised. Anyway, walked the family to the Mahmoodiah outpatient clinic. Ms punk said "Mmm koi sai yi sang kor kor." ("Thank you doctor." in Cantonese)
*walks back home, shakes head at what has become of today's younger generation*

2. Went to City Square to buy mooncakes. Upset that most were already sold out 2 days before mid-autumn festival. Decided to buy a few of those biscuits shaped like rabbits and fish (inside got lotus paste). Asked the promoter how much were they selling it for. "RM5 for 3, sir. You can mix and match whichever ones you want to buy - rabbit or fish for your children."
*swt*

Blood donation

Those who are interested, please let me know :-)

Mid-autumn 2008

Mooncake caregroup group photo :p

Haha, lantern and mooncake season last week.. Ever wondered where the story of mooncake started? Of course there's this legend / myth about Chang 'Er who drank the elixir of life to save her people from her husband's tyrannical rule, and hence became the lady on the moon. The historical version which I find to be more logical is that the rebel leader in China found out that Mongols do not eat mooncakes, and hence managed to trick the emperor into distributing mooncakes with secret messages stored inside for fellow rebels, "Kill the Mongols on the 15th of the 8th lunar month.". This apparently led to the eventual downfall of the Mongol dynasty, and China was free.
Me and my lantern :p
Evolution to become tanglung monster lolz
Fulamak.. like Transformers :p

Posers as usual :p