A while back quite a number of people bugging me to do a personality test. Duno what all the hype is about, but just putting my results for fun here:
The Nurturer
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.
ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.
ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.
ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.
ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.
The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.
More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.
Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.
The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.
ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".
The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
UL's timely message, with 8 days to exams
Currently listening to:
When we meet new trials, review how good God has been to us, and this will strengthen our faith to move on!
Psalm 77:11-12
I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.
When we meet new trials, review how good God has been to us, and this will strengthen our faith to move on!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
The 90/10 principle
Felt like putting up a lesson my ex-shepherd in Melbourne, Jason taught me 2 years back, which I recalled recently (found out that it was based on a book by Stephen Covey - Yes, the author of '7 habits of highly effective people').
In life, 10% is made up of what happens to you. 90% is decided by how you react.
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane (or people) will arrive late, which throws our whole schedule off. We may be stuck in a jam. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different, because you determine it.
Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.
She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short argument follows. You refuse to give in and instead stormed upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work and can't send her to school.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay, a near-accident and throwing the $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your upset daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find that you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse, important decisions could not be made, and some work could not be done, because you forgot your briefcase. Your boss was left fuming, and threatened to fire you if it happens again. You look forward to coming home, but when you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
See the problem?
Saturday, October 18, 2008
|
Verse 1
When troubles come, I trust in You
For I know You will lead me through
And I know You are faithful, till the end
Verse 2
And when the storms are drawing near
When I'm with You I don't have to fear
You're my shepherd on whom I can depend
Pre-chorus
Through the day, through the night
I know You're always by my side
Chorus
Lord You are always here with me
There is no changing God in thee
You are the same yesterday and today
And forevermore
Here on Your promises I stand
You hold my future in Your hands
My solid rock, almighty God
I worship You
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Final stretch
Watched 'Facing the Giants' last Saturday. Despite 2008 coming to an end, let's see this final quarter as a new beginning to give God our best touchdown for one final time this year!Plot
In six years of coaching football, Grant Taylor has never led his Shiloh Eagles to a winning season. After learning that he and his wife Brooke face infertility, Grant discovers that a group of fathers are secretly organizing to have him dismissed as head coach. His car breaks down frequently, and his house is falling apart around him. Devastated by his circumstances, he cries out to God in desperation. When Grant receives a message from an unexpected visitor, he searches for a stronger purpose for his football team. He challenged his players to believe God for the impossible on and off the field. When faced with unbelievable odds, the Eagles must step up to their greatest test of strength and courage. What transpires is a dynamic story of the fight between faith and fear.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Of bus rides and movies
I'm back in Kuantan for around a week for the Hari Raya break. Interestingly enough, the 6-hour bus ride this time turned out to be a quiet one, but past 7pm, 1st time seeing the breaking of fast in the bus, when the driver switched on the lights and left them on for a while so that those who were fasting can have their meals. Well, something different from my previous 2 bus rides, which consisted of conversations; one with an aunty visiting her niece in Klang during the bus ride to KL, another with a mother and son while stopping by in Mersing for an early dinner.
On a separate note, I remembered a movie we watched during YA some time back, titled "Freedom Writers". It was based on a true story. It's amazing how 1 person can make a difference in the lives of others by continuing to believe in their potential.
Plot
The film opens with footage of the Los Angeles riots of 1992 and introduces Eva (April Lee Hernández), a Latina whose father was wrongly arrested for supposed retaliation to a drive-by shooting. She is initiated in a gang, and only goes to Wilson High School because her choice was to either go to boot camp or go to school. The Long Beach high school and its area are the place of a gang war, where hatred and racism is abound. Meanwhile, naive first-time teacher Erin Gruwell (Hilary Swank) gets a job teaching freshman English at Wilson High School. Her first day at school is a shock to her, as she sees a fight almost break out in her classroom and a full scale gang battle at the school. Her students do not obey her and continuously talk back to her.
One night, Eva and a Cambodian refugee, Sindy (Jaclyn Ngan), find themselves in the same convenience store. Another student, Grant Rice (Armand Jones), is frustrated at losing an arcade game and demands a refund from the owner. When he storms out, Eva's boyfriend attempts a driveby shooting on him, accidentally killing Sindy's boyfriend. As Eva is a witness, she must testify at court; she intends to protect her own kind in her testimony.
At school, Gruwell intercepts a racist drawing of one of her students, and uses it to teach them about the Holocaust. Despite various challenges, she gradually begins to earn their trust, and buys them composition books to record a diary, in which they talk about their experiences of being abused, seeing their friends die, and being evicted. Determined to reform her students, she takes two part-time jobs to pay for more books and spends more time at school, to the disappointment of her husband (Patrick Dempsey). Her students start to behave with respect and learn more, and a transformation is especially visible in one of her students, Marcus (Jason Finn). She invites several Holocaust survivors to talk with her class about their experiences, and takes them on a field trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Meanwhile, her unorthodox teaching methods are scorned by her colleagues and racist department chair Margaret Campbell (Imelda Staunton). The next year comes, and Gruwell teaches her class again for sophomore year.
In class, when reading The Diary of a Young Girl, or Anne Frank's diary, they decide to invite Miep Gies over to talk to them. Initially, the task seemed impossible, but after working together to organise a fundraising event which gained publicity in the local media. They raised enough money to send her over, and she tells them her experiences hiding Anne Frank. When Marcus tells her that she is his hero, she denies it, claiming she was merely doing the right thing. Her denial causes Eva to rethink lying during her testimony. When she testifies, she finally breaks down and tells the truth. Despite being assaulted by her own gang members later for betraying them, she and Sindy became good friends in class.
Meanwhile, Gruwell gives her students a project to write their diary in the form of a book. She compiles the projects into a book and names it The Freedom Writer Diaries, after the Freedom Riders. Unfortunately, her commitment to the students took a toll on her relationship with her husband, who divorces her. To make matters worse, Margaret tells her she cannot teach her kids for their junior year, intending to hand over the class to another teacher from a higher up class, but practises discrimination. Despite the circumstances, she fights this decision, eventually persevering to convince the district education superintendent to allow her to teach her kids' junior and senior year. The film ends with a note that Gruwell successfully brought many of her students to graduation and college.
On a separate note, I remembered a movie we watched during YA some time back, titled "Freedom Writers". It was based on a true story. It's amazing how 1 person can make a difference in the lives of others by continuing to believe in their potential.
Plot
The film opens with footage of the Los Angeles riots of 1992 and introduces Eva (April Lee Hernández), a Latina whose father was wrongly arrested for supposed retaliation to a drive-by shooting. She is initiated in a gang, and only goes to Wilson High School because her choice was to either go to boot camp or go to school. The Long Beach high school and its area are the place of a gang war, where hatred and racism is abound. Meanwhile, naive first-time teacher Erin Gruwell (Hilary Swank) gets a job teaching freshman English at Wilson High School. Her first day at school is a shock to her, as she sees a fight almost break out in her classroom and a full scale gang battle at the school. Her students do not obey her and continuously talk back to her.
One night, Eva and a Cambodian refugee, Sindy (Jaclyn Ngan), find themselves in the same convenience store. Another student, Grant Rice (Armand Jones), is frustrated at losing an arcade game and demands a refund from the owner. When he storms out, Eva's boyfriend attempts a driveby shooting on him, accidentally killing Sindy's boyfriend. As Eva is a witness, she must testify at court; she intends to protect her own kind in her testimony.
At school, Gruwell intercepts a racist drawing of one of her students, and uses it to teach them about the Holocaust. Despite various challenges, she gradually begins to earn their trust, and buys them composition books to record a diary, in which they talk about their experiences of being abused, seeing their friends die, and being evicted. Determined to reform her students, she takes two part-time jobs to pay for more books and spends more time at school, to the disappointment of her husband (Patrick Dempsey). Her students start to behave with respect and learn more, and a transformation is especially visible in one of her students, Marcus (Jason Finn). She invites several Holocaust survivors to talk with her class about their experiences, and takes them on a field trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Meanwhile, her unorthodox teaching methods are scorned by her colleagues and racist department chair Margaret Campbell (Imelda Staunton). The next year comes, and Gruwell teaches her class again for sophomore year.
In class, when reading The Diary of a Young Girl, or Anne Frank's diary, they decide to invite Miep Gies over to talk to them. Initially, the task seemed impossible, but after working together to organise a fundraising event which gained publicity in the local media. They raised enough money to send her over, and she tells them her experiences hiding Anne Frank. When Marcus tells her that she is his hero, she denies it, claiming she was merely doing the right thing. Her denial causes Eva to rethink lying during her testimony. When she testifies, she finally breaks down and tells the truth. Despite being assaulted by her own gang members later for betraying them, she and Sindy became good friends in class.
Meanwhile, Gruwell gives her students a project to write their diary in the form of a book. She compiles the projects into a book and names it The Freedom Writer Diaries, after the Freedom Riders. Unfortunately, her commitment to the students took a toll on her relationship with her husband, who divorces her. To make matters worse, Margaret tells her she cannot teach her kids for their junior year, intending to hand over the class to another teacher from a higher up class, but practises discrimination. Despite the circumstances, she fights this decision, eventually persevering to convince the district education superintendent to allow her to teach her kids' junior and senior year. The film ends with a note that Gruwell successfully brought many of her students to graduation and college.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Conversations
1. Just finished class and was walking home from the wards last week.
Out came a man in a wheelchair grimacing in pain due to a leg ulcer.
A Chinese lady wheeling him appeared lost, wondering where is the clinic. I couldn't speak much Mandarin, so she spoke to me in Bahasa Melayu.
A daughter with dyed hair and punk clothes scolding her mum loudly in public as to why she was wasting her time trying to speak to me in Bahasa Melayu if I could speak Mandarin. Had to explained to her that my Mandarin was limited, then she shyly apologised. Anyway, walked the family to the Mahmoodiah outpatient clinic. Ms punk said "Mmm koi sai yi sang kor kor." ("Thank you doctor." in Cantonese)
*walks back home, shakes head at what has become of today's younger generation*
2. Went to City Square to buy mooncakes. Upset that most were already sold out 2 days before mid-autumn festival. Decided to buy a few of those biscuits shaped like rabbits and fish (inside got lotus paste). Asked the promoter how much were they selling it for. "RM5 for 3, sir. You can mix and match whichever ones you want to buy - rabbit or fish for your children."
*swt*
Out came a man in a wheelchair grimacing in pain due to a leg ulcer.
A Chinese lady wheeling him appeared lost, wondering where is the clinic. I couldn't speak much Mandarin, so she spoke to me in Bahasa Melayu.
A daughter with dyed hair and punk clothes scolding her mum loudly in public as to why she was wasting her time trying to speak to me in Bahasa Melayu if I could speak Mandarin. Had to explained to her that my Mandarin was limited, then she shyly apologised. Anyway, walked the family to the Mahmoodiah outpatient clinic. Ms punk said "Mmm koi sai yi sang kor kor." ("Thank you doctor." in Cantonese)
*walks back home, shakes head at what has become of today's younger generation*
2. Went to City Square to buy mooncakes. Upset that most were already sold out 2 days before mid-autumn festival. Decided to buy a few of those biscuits shaped like rabbits and fish (inside got lotus paste). Asked the promoter how much were they selling it for. "RM5 for 3, sir. You can mix and match whichever ones you want to buy - rabbit or fish for your children."
*swt*
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Mid-autumn 2008
Mooncake caregroup group photo :pHaha, lantern and mooncake season last week.. Ever wondered where the story of mooncake started? Of course there's this legend / myth about Chang 'Er who drank the elixir of life to save her people from her husband's tyrannical rule, and hence became the lady on the moon. The historical version which I find to be more logical is that the rebel leader in China found out that Mongols do not eat mooncakes, and hence managed to trick the emperor into distributing mooncakes with secret messages stored inside for fellow rebels, "Kill the Mongols on the 15th of the 8th lunar month.". This apparently led to the eventual downfall of the Mongol dynasty, and China was free.
Me and my lantern :p
Evolution to become tanglung monster lolz
Fulamak.. like Transformers :p
Posers as usual :p
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Whatever
I went shopping while my housemate was presumably enjoying his slumber. When we were about to go for dinner, he sms me to take away some food for him.
Hence I obliged :p lolz.
Hence I obliged :p lolz.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Honour God and He will honour you
After finishing 3 days of Hope JB's bible conference, it's rather discouraging lar to get scolded badly with a earfull by parents for not planning the holiday trip back for Hari Raya in advance, coz newspapers reported that bus tickets to the East Coast (apparently the most popular destination for the season) has been sold out 2 days ago. Was busy with my MCR and assignment last week, so no time to read newspapers lar.. anyway, when in doubt of what to do, pray lar :p
It doesn't help that it was raining cats and dogs in JB in the afternoon. Amazing that the rain stopped the moment my shepherd whom was fetching me home from Skudai arrived at the Larkin bus terminal :-)
It doesn't help that when we arrived in Larkin, there was a massive traffic jam and the place was loaded with taxis. Then out of nowhere, a car reversed out and there you go; a parking space :-)
It doesn't help that in a terminal crowded with people, you see the notice at the bus ticket counter 'East Coast tickets for Hari Raya season to Kuala Terengganu-Kota Bharu-Permatang Pasir from 26 September-9 October has been sold out.' What more, JB is not like KL which has buses leaving every hour, here it's like 2 trips in the morning, 1 in the afternoon and 1-2 at night to Kuantan. Logically speaking, and also from experience, confirm gone case already (coz the same thing happened last time while in KL, and tickets were sold out long in advance). But somehow I'm thankful that I still manage to get a ticket to Kuantan; the best part is that it enabled me to leave after Sunday service (28 September, 3pm) and I even managed to buy a return ticket to come back on Saturday (4 October) so that I don't have to miss next day Sunday service :-)
It doesn't help that it was raining cats and dogs in JB in the afternoon. Amazing that the rain stopped the moment my shepherd whom was fetching me home from Skudai arrived at the Larkin bus terminal :-)
It doesn't help that when we arrived in Larkin, there was a massive traffic jam and the place was loaded with taxis. Then out of nowhere, a car reversed out and there you go; a parking space :-)
It doesn't help that in a terminal crowded with people, you see the notice at the bus ticket counter 'East Coast tickets for Hari Raya season to Kuala Terengganu-Kota Bharu-Permatang Pasir from 26 September-9 October has been sold out.' What more, JB is not like KL which has buses leaving every hour, here it's like 2 trips in the morning, 1 in the afternoon and 1-2 at night to Kuantan. Logically speaking, and also from experience, confirm gone case already (coz the same thing happened last time while in KL, and tickets were sold out long in advance). But somehow I'm thankful that I still manage to get a ticket to Kuantan; the best part is that it enabled me to leave after Sunday service (28 September, 3pm) and I even managed to buy a return ticket to come back on Saturday (4 October) so that I don't have to miss next day Sunday service :-)
Friday, August 29, 2008
Hectic week leading towards freedom (ie Merdeka)
I have 2 items due this Friday (29 August); 1 is my MCR (ie monthly practical test), and the second is my critical appraisal report. It took me until end of last week to find my article, so as I was trying to appraise it, there were quite a number of parts where I got stuck. It was a busy week, but since my tutor was not around on Monday and Tuesday, I thought I will see him on Wednesday, but he was on call in the ICU. I made an appointment to see him on Thursday.
So on Wednesday night, I was so tired wondering what to study for MCR and how to do assignment and PBL at the same time that I had to take a nap for a while doing PBL at Ben's place (before got woken up after just half an hour). Anyway, that night, slept only around 4 hours I think..
Thursday (28 August 2008)
So the next morning I turned up for PBL at 8am (it was the start of a long day)looking like a zombie, but thankful that my presentation was quite ok, and I had fun practising thyroid examination on E.K. :p
After PBL, rushed to the wards for my MCR. Since the next day is the deadline already, and it's my 1st surgical MCR, I was like; "Err.. God ar, it's my 1st surgical MCR and I'm actually not very smart wan, so don't give so difficult case can ar?" The patient I was supposed to examine has an indirect inguinal hernia. Easy you say? Actually, for the past 7 weeks in general surgery, I never got the chance to examine a patient with inguinal hernia before (I mean, for teaching purposes the patient allowed the tutor to demonstrate on him, but was shy when we wanted to practise). So what to do? Try to remember lor as much of what the tutor taught us last week; Monkey see, monkey do, right? Then got asked a few questions.. and I was actually very happy with the marks I got (people may say it's no big deal as this lecturer is quite lenient, but it's still my highest MCR mark so far :p). He actually commented that if I had been more composed (ie smoother flow and less prompting, probably coz I was sleepy), he would have given higher marks.
12pm.. PBL and MCR done, EBCP to go.. rushed back to clinical school for long case. Got the shock of my life when I found out that E.K. and I have the same article for the appraisal. I was like, "What?? You got to be kidding me.. No time to find another article already leh..tomorrow deadline." Fortunately don't have to, but apparently my appraisal lacks several things.. My initial plan was to let the tutor go through my report and adjust the changes later at home. However, the tutor whom I was supposed to meet had to rush off again to the wards. A second tutor was busy, but suggested I email her my assignment to have a look. I went looking for the 3rd tutor who helped me big time with my previous assignment. He had a meeting at 3pm, and MCR with 3 students at around 4 pm, so I thought maybe I will meet him at 5 pm in the wards. In my haste to print and get the sample draft ready, I accidentally slammed the printing room's sliding door against my left finger. *PAINFUL*
So when the time came, I ran to the wards as I thought I was late, but he still haven't finished his meeting, so walked all the way back to the clinical school, and came back at 6pm. Still not finished with the MCR. It's tiring leh to run up and down the sloped staircase from clinical school to the wards. In the mean time, called the hospital surgeon to arrange for afternoon class tomorrow, got sarcastically told off to call back tomorrow morning. I called my ex-shepherd who was supposed to pick me up for dinner at 6.15pm to postpone our dinner appointment but was not possible, coz the designated meeting up time before going together for combined prayer meeting at FGC was 7pm, and traffic jam means we don't even have time for dinner. So there, finished. Die lar my assignment.. The tutor only finished the MCR at 7.30 pm. So I had to arrange another time tomorrow. Was actually thinking "Gary, Gary... you got to be crazy and out of your mind, your assignment and a lot of work not yet done leh.. actually should exercise wisdom lar, just tell lar if you cannot make it due to last minute unforeseen circumstances. Furthermore, the drive there takes 30 minutes.." Was throwing up a lot of calculative thoughts in my mind (coz I'm actually very stingy with my time), but since I already decided to go, "God I know I'm super tired and stressed, but You have been faithful all this while, and I choose to honour You." After that, another night of only 5 hours of sleep. But how much can I do, since a lot of the sections of the assignment which I wanted to enquire of has not been corrected?
Friday (29 August 2008)
Another long day. Tutor came late at 8.15 am, class finished late and turns out that a lot of people wanted to see this tutor also (ie cut queue), so couldn't really ask much about the assignment. But he tried to help lar as much as possible. My subgroup asked me to help look for patient early coz they were packing to go home. Was busy correcting my assignment, how to go? Until I forgot about pathology class. To go or not to go? It's quite late already. Ok lar, just go. Not good to skip class. After class, as I was editing my assignment, I just didn't know how, but the bits and pieces just fell into place. Whether it's correct or not, that's up to the marker to decide lar. But I achieved more progress in that 2 hours than in the past 2 nights. The deadline was 5pm, but managed to submit it at lunchtime. Went to the wards and managed to find a patient, so I clerked and examined him. During the teaching, I learnt a lot lar as the person doing the examination. And after all these, still got plenty of time to spare and I 'tapau'-ed my pathology quiz as well, before catching a bus to replacement caregroup that night.
Thank you Lord :-)
So on Wednesday night, I was so tired wondering what to study for MCR and how to do assignment and PBL at the same time that I had to take a nap for a while doing PBL at Ben's place (before got woken up after just half an hour). Anyway, that night, slept only around 4 hours I think..
Thursday (28 August 2008)
So the next morning I turned up for PBL at 8am (it was the start of a long day)looking like a zombie, but thankful that my presentation was quite ok, and I had fun practising thyroid examination on E.K. :p
After PBL, rushed to the wards for my MCR. Since the next day is the deadline already, and it's my 1st surgical MCR, I was like; "Err.. God ar, it's my 1st surgical MCR and I'm actually not very smart wan, so don't give so difficult case can ar?" The patient I was supposed to examine has an indirect inguinal hernia. Easy you say? Actually, for the past 7 weeks in general surgery, I never got the chance to examine a patient with inguinal hernia before (I mean, for teaching purposes the patient allowed the tutor to demonstrate on him, but was shy when we wanted to practise). So what to do? Try to remember lor as much of what the tutor taught us last week; Monkey see, monkey do, right? Then got asked a few questions.. and I was actually very happy with the marks I got (people may say it's no big deal as this lecturer is quite lenient, but it's still my highest MCR mark so far :p). He actually commented that if I had been more composed (ie smoother flow and less prompting, probably coz I was sleepy), he would have given higher marks.
12pm.. PBL and MCR done, EBCP to go.. rushed back to clinical school for long case. Got the shock of my life when I found out that E.K. and I have the same article for the appraisal. I was like, "What?? You got to be kidding me.. No time to find another article already leh..tomorrow deadline." Fortunately don't have to, but apparently my appraisal lacks several things.. My initial plan was to let the tutor go through my report and adjust the changes later at home. However, the tutor whom I was supposed to meet had to rush off again to the wards. A second tutor was busy, but suggested I email her my assignment to have a look. I went looking for the 3rd tutor who helped me big time with my previous assignment. He had a meeting at 3pm, and MCR with 3 students at around 4 pm, so I thought maybe I will meet him at 5 pm in the wards. In my haste to print and get the sample draft ready, I accidentally slammed the printing room's sliding door against my left finger. *PAINFUL*
So when the time came, I ran to the wards as I thought I was late, but he still haven't finished his meeting, so walked all the way back to the clinical school, and came back at 6pm. Still not finished with the MCR. It's tiring leh to run up and down the sloped staircase from clinical school to the wards. In the mean time, called the hospital surgeon to arrange for afternoon class tomorrow, got sarcastically told off to call back tomorrow morning. I called my ex-shepherd who was supposed to pick me up for dinner at 6.15pm to postpone our dinner appointment but was not possible, coz the designated meeting up time before going together for combined prayer meeting at FGC was 7pm, and traffic jam means we don't even have time for dinner. So there, finished. Die lar my assignment.. The tutor only finished the MCR at 7.30 pm. So I had to arrange another time tomorrow. Was actually thinking "Gary, Gary... you got to be crazy and out of your mind, your assignment and a lot of work not yet done leh.. actually should exercise wisdom lar, just tell lar if you cannot make it due to last minute unforeseen circumstances. Furthermore, the drive there takes 30 minutes.." Was throwing up a lot of calculative thoughts in my mind (coz I'm actually very stingy with my time), but since I already decided to go, "God I know I'm super tired and stressed, but You have been faithful all this while, and I choose to honour You." After that, another night of only 5 hours of sleep. But how much can I do, since a lot of the sections of the assignment which I wanted to enquire of has not been corrected?
Friday (29 August 2008)
Another long day. Tutor came late at 8.15 am, class finished late and turns out that a lot of people wanted to see this tutor also (ie cut queue), so couldn't really ask much about the assignment. But he tried to help lar as much as possible. My subgroup asked me to help look for patient early coz they were packing to go home. Was busy correcting my assignment, how to go? Until I forgot about pathology class. To go or not to go? It's quite late already. Ok lar, just go. Not good to skip class. After class, as I was editing my assignment, I just didn't know how, but the bits and pieces just fell into place. Whether it's correct or not, that's up to the marker to decide lar. But I achieved more progress in that 2 hours than in the past 2 nights. The deadline was 5pm, but managed to submit it at lunchtime. Went to the wards and managed to find a patient, so I clerked and examined him. During the teaching, I learnt a lot lar as the person doing the examination. And after all these, still got plenty of time to spare and I 'tapau'-ed my pathology quiz as well, before catching a bus to replacement caregroup that night.
Thank you Lord :-)
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
The call to remember
Deuteronomy 8:10-18
When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.
Remembering where I was 2.5 years ago. Reminding myself that God is faithful to finish what He started. Reminding myself that no matter what you're going through (multiple deadlines, exams, tiredness, emo-ness etc), one can draw strength by remembering how He has pulled you through.
Calvary
by Planetshakers
1st verse
I will lift my eyes to You
Where my help comes from
Lord I find my rest in You
Keeper of my soul
2nd verse
You gave it all for me
Maker of Heaven
You paid the price
So I could be with You
Chorus
Jesus, I remember the cross
Where You hung upon that tree
You won the ultimate victory
Jesus, I remember Calvary
Bridge
You reign
You reign over the earth
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
More snippets from past week and this
1. Went to the wards at night last Thursday to clerk a patient for bedside teaching. Tutor asked to look for the breast cancer patient with lymphoedema, but when I went at 8pm, I found out that the patient was already discharged from the ward. Then, the staff nurse whom misheard me gave me a patient with lipoma. Ok, fine I thought, as I approached the bed, there's this group of 4-5 student nurses from a private college attached here in HSA for 2 weeks for their practical training. When I approached the patient's bed, they backed off. Then I looked at them, and was wondering why they looking at me weirdly (the "Oh, this is what a medical student looks like" kind of look). Then, as I enquired the patient and looked at her file, they looked on curiously at what I was doing. I had a short chat with them lar, seemed like a cheerful bunch - laughed and appeared quite playful, despite patients looking at them. Someone was apparently very "happy" for me, for so-called being 'checked out', though that same person would get a dose of her own medicine the next day in the wards. Too bad on the next day also, when I went to the resting room for doctors in the wards to put my stuff, the same group of student nurses were there, with a larger bunch of their cohort. Can hear whispers among them, "Inilah doktor yang saya cakap semalam." *swt*
2. When I go to the wards, I make friends with housemen who would allow me to follow them around / do procedures / help identify interesting cases. There's one who asked me for my name, and when she saw my name tag; let's just say.. Imagine a female, who talks very fast, sounds like Doraemon (I deliberately told her that loudly in front of patients; though in a joking way) saying the following sentence, "Oh Gary... ah itu-itu.. itu dalam itu Spongebob drama punya siput!!!!" *swt* Anyway, the same houseman asked me, "You want to do Central Venous Line ar?" I was like, "What?", coz that caught me unexpectedly, and I didn't read up on the procedure, what not my anatomy.. I told her I can observe lar.. Then, a few of her friends said, that they performed it during their years as medical students. "Never mind, just 'cucuk' (poke around) lar. You learn more when you do". Later I noticed that the patient's clavicle was so massive, even the injection needle became bent. :p
2. When I go to the wards, I make friends with housemen who would allow me to follow them around / do procedures / help identify interesting cases. There's one who asked me for my name, and when she saw my name tag; let's just say.. Imagine a female, who talks very fast, sounds like Doraemon (I deliberately told her that loudly in front of patients; though in a joking way) saying the following sentence, "Oh Gary... ah itu-itu.. itu dalam itu Spongebob drama punya siput!!!!" *swt* Anyway, the same houseman asked me, "You want to do Central Venous Line ar?" I was like, "What?", coz that caught me unexpectedly, and I didn't read up on the procedure, what not my anatomy.. I told her I can observe lar.. Then, a few of her friends said, that they performed it during their years as medical students. "Never mind, just 'cucuk' (poke around) lar. You learn more when you do". Later I noticed that the patient's clavicle was so massive, even the injection needle became bent. :p
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Give and take
I got this from a friend's blog; in conjunction with the Olympics.
Like Sarah commented, at times I do ponder what will I do if I ever find myself in such a situation. Olympics is only once in 4 years, medical school is once in a lifetime. Yes, it is said that doctors work in a team. Honestly speaking, I'm not the smartest person around lar, but if say I had worked so hard for something (eg of gold medal standard), the clerking, the hard work, and put up a good impression, how will I respond if someone else who just somehow knows much much more than me just effortlessly rattled off the answers and won praises. Jealous? Annoyed? Why some people so smart one?? If I get my hands on some much coveted handouts / notes / extra sessions, how? Can't deny that the tendency to think along the selfish lines of "Aiya he/she so smart and doing better than me dy, no need to bother lar sharing a copy with them, or You are selfish and manipulate things to cause me so much trouble, that even if you die that's your problem lar." is always there. Sigh..
Guess there is a need to appreciate that at the end of the day, it's not about me. And it's a lesson I'm still learning..
During a race in the one man Fin Class sailing competition, Larry Lemieux of Canada was running in second place and was well on his way to a medal ceremony. Suddenly, the sailor spotted Joseph Chan of Singapore, who was competing in a different race, flailing in turbulent water well away from his capsized boat. Chan had been thrown from his small craft and was in danger of drowning in the rough seas.
Lemieux immediately veered off course, sacrificing his chance of winning a medal and ferried Chan back to his overturned boat. Chan and his team mate were then picked up by a rescue boat. Officially, Lemieux finished 11th place in the event but International Olympic Committee President Juan Antonio Samaranch later recognised his act by awarding him the Pierre de Coubertin medal for sportsmanship.
..................................................................................................................
At the most recent Winter Olympiad, Canadian Sarah Renner was leading her team in the gruelling cross country team sprint ski race when her left ski pole snapped. She pushed on, but it seemed hopeless. On an uphill slope, several skiers passed her.
Then something truly extraordinary happened. An unknown man stepped forward from the side of the course and handed Renner another ski pole. She immediately got back in the race and with a mighty effort, managed to make up some of the lost time. In the end, it was enough to capture the silver medal for Canada.
It was not until after the race that Renner learnt the identity of her benefactor. He turned out to be Bjoernar Haakensmoen, the coach of the Norwegian team who finished fourth. Haakensmoen immediately became a hero in Canada. One Montreal newspaper ran a one-word banner headline simply proclaiming, TAKK the Norwegian word for thank you.
Haakensmoen didn't understand all the attention. "The Olympic spirit is the way we try to follow. If you win but don't help somebody when you should have, what win is that?"
(Reader's Digest, Aug 2008)
Like Sarah commented, at times I do ponder what will I do if I ever find myself in such a situation. Olympics is only once in 4 years, medical school is once in a lifetime. Yes, it is said that doctors work in a team. Honestly speaking, I'm not the smartest person around lar, but if say I had worked so hard for something (eg of gold medal standard), the clerking, the hard work, and put up a good impression, how will I respond if someone else who just somehow knows much much more than me just effortlessly rattled off the answers and won praises. Jealous? Annoyed? Why some people so smart one?? If I get my hands on some much coveted handouts / notes / extra sessions, how? Can't deny that the tendency to think along the selfish lines of "Aiya he/she so smart and doing better than me dy, no need to bother lar sharing a copy with them, or You are selfish and manipulate things to cause me so much trouble, that even if you die that's your problem lar." is always there. Sigh..
Guess there is a need to appreciate that at the end of the day, it's not about me. And it's a lesson I'm still learning..
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Prayer meeting sharing: What makes an Olympic Gold Medal Christian?
As the Corinthians were having their own version of the Games, Paul was preaching this to them.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
1. All of us must have the desire to win the prize
As Christians, we want to win God's prize. Run to win the prize / hit the mark, not just simply for the sake of it. All of us like to win prizes, be it during our school days or when we take part in sports, even Christmas presents and lucky draws. God made us with a natural desire to be winners. In this case, not just any prize, but the prize that lasts forever. Example: You can't really bring your university degree to heaven and say you are an engineer, right? What is there for you to build?(That being said, doesn't mean don't study hard ya :p) Hence, all of us must set goals in our lives. Inspire people around us and in church to do so.
2. Need to go into STRICT training.
We read about swimmers like Michael Phelps breaking Olympic records and winning more than 6 gold medals already. Swimmers like these have been swimming since their teenage years (probably 14+). The Chinese identified young gymnasts' with potential at a very young age, and train them with one single focus towards performing their best in the Games. In order to win the prize, need to be trained so that we know how to be more effective in serving God. Of course those who have gone through university feel more confident in undertaking the job they are in now, otherwise if no form of training (eg university degree), how to embark in certain professions? Trained people should also train others. Need to challenge people to serve God in various ministries (no matter which group - student, working adult etc).
3. Challenge each other to be in self-control.
While we want to be equipped, we need to be able to control ourselves in the process. Sometimes when we get tired / discouraged / lonely, we don't want to run anymore, as we get the perception that it is too hard to win the prize. But are you willing to pay the price? Not easy.. Encourage one another to persevere and press on.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my own body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
1. All of us must have the desire to win the prize
As Christians, we want to win God's prize. Run to win the prize / hit the mark, not just simply for the sake of it. All of us like to win prizes, be it during our school days or when we take part in sports, even Christmas presents and lucky draws. God made us with a natural desire to be winners. In this case, not just any prize, but the prize that lasts forever. Example: You can't really bring your university degree to heaven and say you are an engineer, right? What is there for you to build?(That being said, doesn't mean don't study hard ya :p) Hence, all of us must set goals in our lives. Inspire people around us and in church to do so.
2. Need to go into STRICT training.
We read about swimmers like Michael Phelps breaking Olympic records and winning more than 6 gold medals already. Swimmers like these have been swimming since their teenage years (probably 14+). The Chinese identified young gymnasts' with potential at a very young age, and train them with one single focus towards performing their best in the Games. In order to win the prize, need to be trained so that we know how to be more effective in serving God. Of course those who have gone through university feel more confident in undertaking the job they are in now, otherwise if no form of training (eg university degree), how to embark in certain professions? Trained people should also train others. Need to challenge people to serve God in various ministries (no matter which group - student, working adult etc).
3. Challenge each other to be in self-control.
While we want to be equipped, we need to be able to control ourselves in the process. Sometimes when we get tired / discouraged / lonely, we don't want to run anymore, as we get the perception that it is too hard to win the prize. But are you willing to pay the price? Not easy.. Encourage one another to persevere and press on.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The need to go to gym more often
..especially after a triple whammy yesterday. What happened was:
A couple and their 2 little daughters entered the lift I was in. The elder one looked up at me (her height was only up to my waist). I was wondering why in the world was she staring at me. Then she blurted out, "UNCLE, why your stomach so fat fat wan ar?"
The parents who were horrified, especially the mum, tried to make amends by saying, "Shh!!!! Cannot like that wan! Faster say sorry to UNCLE."
Just when you thought it was over after the elder sister said sorry, the younger sister repeated the first statement. *swt*
A couple and their 2 little daughters entered the lift I was in. The elder one looked up at me (her height was only up to my waist). I was wondering why in the world was she staring at me. Then she blurted out, "UNCLE, why your stomach so fat fat wan ar?"
The parents who were horrified, especially the mum, tried to make amends by saying, "Shh!!!! Cannot like that wan! Faster say sorry to UNCLE."
Just when you thought it was over after the elder sister said sorry, the younger sister repeated the first statement. *swt*
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
You are very special
from Small Wooden People by Max Lucado
The Wemmicks were small wooden people. Each of the wooden people was carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat on a hill overlooking their village. Every Wemmick was different. Some had big noses, others had large eyes. Some were tall and others were short. Some wore hats, others wore coats. But all were made by the same carver and all lived in the village.
And all day, every day, the Wemmicks did the same thing: They gave each other stickers. Each Wemmick had a box of golden star stickers and a box of gray dot stickers. Up and down the streets all over the city, people could be seen sticking stars or dots on one another.
The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the wood was rough or the paint chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots. The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big words or could sing very pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars.
Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got a star it made them feel so good that they did something else and got another star. Others, though, could do little. They got dots.
Punchinello was one of these. He tried to jump high like the others, but he always fell. And when he fell, the others would gather around and give him dots. Sometimes when he fell, it would scar his wood, so the people would give him more dots. He would try to explain why he fell and say something silly, and the Wemmicks would give him even more dots.
After a while he had so many dots that he didn't want to go outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as forget his hat or step in the water, and then people would give him another dot. In fact, he had so many gray dots that some people would come up and give him one without reason.
"He deserves lots of dots," the wooden people would agree with one another.
"He's not a good wooden person."
After a while Punchinello believed them. "I'm not a good Wemmick," he would say. The few times he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a lot of dots. He felt better around them.
One day he met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name was Lulia.
It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick. Some admired Lulia for having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Some would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn't stay either.
"That's the way I want to be," thought Punchinello. "I don't want anyone's marks." So he asked the stickerless Wemmick how she did it.
"It's easy," Lulia replied. "every day I go see Eli."
"Eli?"
"Yes, Eli. The woodcarver. I sit in the workshop with him."
"Why?"
"Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's there. "
And with that the Wemmick with no marks turned and skipped away.
"But he won't want to see me!" Punchinello cried out.
Lulia didn't hear. So Punchinello went home. He sat near a window and watched the wooden people as they scurried around giving each other stars and dots.
"It's not right," he muttered to himself. And he resolved to go see Eli.
He walked up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything. The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on his tiptoes to see the top of the workbench. A hammer was as long as his arm. Punchinello swallowed hard.
"I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave. Then he heard his name.
"Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong.
Punchinello stopped.
"Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you."
Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded craftsman.
"You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked.
"Of course I do. I made you."
Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench. "Hmm, " he spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray circles. "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."
"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard."
"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me. I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."
"You don't?"
"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars or dots? They're Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."
Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"
Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me."
Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this--much less his maker. He didn't know what to say.
"Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.
"I came because I met someone who had no marks."
"I know. She told me about you."
"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"
"Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them."
"What?"
"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about the stickers."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care."
Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground.
"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door. "You are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes."
Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he really means it."
And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.
Today, upon further evaluation and pondering, are we like the Wemmicks with many accumulated stars, stressed and concerned whether they will continue to receive any stars, and also afraid that somebody may put a grey dot on them? Or are we like those with many grey dots, who feel that they made too many mistakes or are unable to do much? When we see others excelling in certain things, are we able to remind ourselves that each person has a different purpose? (Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.)
(1 Samuel 16:7 - ...Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."). Funny thing is that we are always compared to as a tree. The tree has 3 main different parts; most important part is the root, then you have the trunk, and finally the fruit on the branches. The root represents one's heart attitude. Your being will eventually be linked to your doing. If the attitude is right, it will be anchored solidly to the ground and spring up a tree trunk which is straight and steady. Then of course, bearing good fruit will come naturally.
The Wemmicks were small wooden people. Each of the wooden people was carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat on a hill overlooking their village. Every Wemmick was different. Some had big noses, others had large eyes. Some were tall and others were short. Some wore hats, others wore coats. But all were made by the same carver and all lived in the village.
And all day, every day, the Wemmicks did the same thing: They gave each other stickers. Each Wemmick had a box of golden star stickers and a box of gray dot stickers. Up and down the streets all over the city, people could be seen sticking stars or dots on one another.
The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the wood was rough or the paint chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots. The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big words or could sing very pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars.
Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got a star it made them feel so good that they did something else and got another star. Others, though, could do little. They got dots.
Punchinello was one of these. He tried to jump high like the others, but he always fell. And when he fell, the others would gather around and give him dots. Sometimes when he fell, it would scar his wood, so the people would give him more dots. He would try to explain why he fell and say something silly, and the Wemmicks would give him even more dots.
After a while he had so many dots that he didn't want to go outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as forget his hat or step in the water, and then people would give him another dot. In fact, he had so many gray dots that some people would come up and give him one without reason.
"He deserves lots of dots," the wooden people would agree with one another.
"He's not a good wooden person."
After a while Punchinello believed them. "I'm not a good Wemmick," he would say. The few times he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a lot of dots. He felt better around them.
One day he met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name was Lulia.
It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick. Some admired Lulia for having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Some would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn't stay either.
"That's the way I want to be," thought Punchinello. "I don't want anyone's marks." So he asked the stickerless Wemmick how she did it.
"It's easy," Lulia replied. "every day I go see Eli."
"Eli?"
"Yes, Eli. The woodcarver. I sit in the workshop with him."
"Why?"
"Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's there. "
And with that the Wemmick with no marks turned and skipped away.
"But he won't want to see me!" Punchinello cried out.
Lulia didn't hear. So Punchinello went home. He sat near a window and watched the wooden people as they scurried around giving each other stars and dots.
"It's not right," he muttered to himself. And he resolved to go see Eli.
He walked up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything. The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on his tiptoes to see the top of the workbench. A hammer was as long as his arm. Punchinello swallowed hard.
"I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave. Then he heard his name.
"Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong.
Punchinello stopped.
"Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you."
Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded craftsman.
"You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked.
"Of course I do. I made you."
Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench. "Hmm, " he spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray circles. "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."
"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard."
"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me. I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."
"You don't?"
"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars or dots? They're Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."
Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"
Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me."
Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this--much less his maker. He didn't know what to say.
"Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.
"I came because I met someone who had no marks."
"I know. She told me about you."
"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"
"Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them."
"What?"
"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about the stickers."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care."
Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground.
"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door. "You are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes."
Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he really means it."
And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.
Today, upon further evaluation and pondering, are we like the Wemmicks with many accumulated stars, stressed and concerned whether they will continue to receive any stars, and also afraid that somebody may put a grey dot on them? Or are we like those with many grey dots, who feel that they made too many mistakes or are unable to do much? When we see others excelling in certain things, are we able to remind ourselves that each person has a different purpose? (Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.)
(1 Samuel 16:7 - ...Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."). Funny thing is that we are always compared to as a tree. The tree has 3 main different parts; most important part is the root, then you have the trunk, and finally the fruit on the branches. The root represents one's heart attitude. Your being will eventually be linked to your doing. If the attitude is right, it will be anchored solidly to the ground and spring up a tree trunk which is straight and steady. Then of course, bearing good fruit will come naturally.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Sometimes I wonder; why do I keep having things which I am beginning to hold dear to taken away from me? So much so that at times I'm upset of having to start over from scratch..again, especially when this year has been a challenge. One more transtion period to adapt to for the umpteenth time.
Whatever the case, I will uphold it unto You. If it needs to be done. Coz the theme surrounding QT for the past few days has been to trust and persevere (Connect Journal Day 6 on Matthew 2:13-23; What is God reminding you about the level of trust and guidance He promises to provide over your life?) But I really need understanding..
Addendum:
Psalm 46:1-3
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
Psalm 121:1-2
I lift my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 125:1
Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, who cannot be shaken but endures forever.
Whatever the case, I will uphold it unto You. If it needs to be done. Coz the theme surrounding QT for the past few days has been to trust and persevere (Connect Journal Day 6 on Matthew 2:13-23; What is God reminding you about the level of trust and guidance He promises to provide over your life?) But I really need understanding..
Addendum:
Psalm 46:1-3
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
Psalm 121:1-2
I lift my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 125:1
Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, who cannot be shaken but endures forever.
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