A beautiful day

7am - Went for an early morning jog at Hutan Bandar. Nice place for devotion and reflection amidst the cool morning air and nature. God reminded me that the best lessons taught are through life examples, more than through words of teaching.

8.40am - Hua Mui kopitiam.. it's been a very long time since I last had 'roti bakar', French toast, half-boiled eggs and a nice hot cup of Horlicks for breakfast. Don't mind passing by Kemaman again for their 'roti kahwin'.

11.00am - As the defining hour draws nearer, felt a sense of peace; I made quite a lot of trivial mistakes, so confidence was not high, but there's a sense of realisation that things are no longer in my hand. I have done my part. Felt like signing out from MSN as panic attacks and freaking-out remarks are flying.. oh well, instead of staring at the PC screen and panicking, time to get something useful done, house chores and laundry will do.

2.45pm - Was told to call uni. Friends are jamming the school coordinator's phone lines, anxious about their fate. Decided to take a walk to uni and print some stuff. Might as well drop by the office and ask.

3.15pm - 3 familiar faces came into sight. Dr Siva offered to shake my hand, "Congratulations." Dr Vanassa looked on and smiled. I looked kind of stoned. "I,..I passed? I don't have to re-sit?". Sister Asmah 'shoo-ed' me out of Monash House 2, "Well, if you want, we can always reserve seat for you. Now go and enjoy your holidays!"

Relief.. elation, joy, words just could not describe it :-) Thank you Lord, for the past 4 years.

14th Malaysia National Convention and Global Conference

The Core Part I covered 5 core values:
Christ Centered, Bible Based, Covenantal Relationship, Life Enriching Community and Holy Spirit Empowered.

The Core Part II should cover these 5:
Vision driven, Disciple makers, Leadership developers, Church planters, Apostolic oriented.

Some random things I don't mind having - Part 1

Flying to Melbourne in an Airbus A380 - biggest passenger aircraft in the world

2 days to exams..

Isaiah 26:3 - You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because He trusts in you

Currently listening:
Laura Story - Perfect Peace

Stay close by my side
Keep your eyes on me
Though this life is hard
I wlil give you perfect peace

In this time of trial
Pain that no one sees
Trust me when I say
I will give you perfect peace

And you'll never walk alone
And you'll never be in need
Though I may not calm the storms around you
You can hide in me
Burdens that you bear
Offer no relief
Let me bear your load
Cause I will give you perfect peace
Stay close by my side
And you'll never walk alone
Keep your eyes on me
And you will never be in need
Though this life is hard
Know that I will always give you perfect peace
I will give you perfect peace

Year 5 postings

Provided I pass my exams (which I'm now cramming :p), my next year's posting in Melbourne would be:
1. Cardiothoracic surgery and neurosurgery in Alfred Hospital, Prahran.
2. Aged care and rehabilitation in Dandenong.

A mock OSCE moment..

Scenario 1 (Nephrotic syndrome): Mr Azman, father of a 7-year old boy (Ali) took leave to accompany his son for his 5th hospital admission this year due to a swollen face.
What happened:
*enters room, greets Dr Paul (examiner)*
Me: Hi, good morning (even though it's afternoon) Mr Azman (simulated patient), my name is Gary and I'm your doctor for today. I understand that you brought your son Ali for admission today, right? Is it possible for me to get you to leave the examination room now? This is to ensure confidentiality as I talk to Ali *turns towards Dr Lai who happened to be sitting in*
Dr Lai: *horrified look* No no no, I'm not Ali. You are supposed to talk to Ali's father.
Me: Oh. *swt*

Addendum:
Scenario 2 (Emergency contraception):
Patient (speaking very fast): Hi, I'm very nervous coz last nite we had a party, and everything kinda got a bit wild and I ended up sleeping with this guy I met at the party.. i just don't want to get pregnant doctor.. how ar?
Me: Ok, first I would like to ask u a few questions 1st is that ok?.. let's see, So, let me just confirm, last night you had sex with a guy whom you did not know?
*silence as patient and examiner gave me that horrified look - there goes your mark for rapport as my friend put it*

Trio of reflections..

Currently listening: Phillips, Craig and Dean - When God ran

1. My IVDU patient with HIV is due for pre-HAART counseling soon.. bumped into him as he was playing with his beautiful young daughter (she's probably 4-5 years old) outside the wards. Can see her pacing up and down the corridor, dancing around the visitor's benches..

2. Have not studied for mock OSCE (what more the real one). Need to get my psychiatry log book done soon. And my handwriting is getting more horrible *swt* :p

3. As she stood in front of her 5th grade class, she told her children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at the children, and told them that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row slumped in his seat was a little boy named Teddy Stallard.

Miss Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy, and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy can be unpleasant. It got to the point where Miss Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F' at the top of his papers.

At the school where Miss Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records, and she put Teddy's off until the last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's 1st grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners. He is such a joy to be around." His 2nd grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness, and life at home must be a struggle." His 3rd grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken." Teddy's 4th grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn, and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends, and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Miss Thompson realised the problem, and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy brown paper he got from a grocery bag. Miss Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the students started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stallard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Miss Thompson, today you smell just like my mum used to."

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Miss Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind began to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class, and despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets'.

A year later, she found a note under her door from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he'd ever had in his whole life! Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school 3rd in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. 4 years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stay in school. He'd stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honours. Again he assured Miss Thompson that she was still the best and favourite teacher he'd ever had. Then, 4 more years passed, and yet another letter came. After he got his bachelor's degree, he had decided to go a little further. She was still the best and favourite teacher he'd ever had. But now, his name was a little longer.. the letter was signed 'Theodore F. Stallard, M.D.'

The story does not end here. There was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he's met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago, and he was wondering if Miss Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Miss Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each other, and Dr Stallard whispered into Miss Thompson's ear, "Thank you for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important, and showing me that I could make a difference." Miss Thompson, with tears in her eyes whispered back, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you!"

You can never tell what type of impact you may have on another's life by your actions, or lack of action.

Adapted from: Three Letters from Teddy
by Elizabeth Silance Ballard

You can make a difference

Where: Taman Sri Skudai
When: 21 October 2009 (Wednesday). 7.30pm.

Of late night patient hunts,festival of light and gifted hands

1. Was planning to clerk an IVDU patient who is under psychiatric evaluation for my log book. Patient went out for a walk. Guess I'll come back tomorrow, since it's already 10.30pm.
Update: Had a chat with the patient,nice guy whom was actually married with 4 children - he did shared about his life as a former drug addict for 10 years, sleeping by the drains for months and being in-and-out of jail for years - which was why he did not get to see his daughter when she was born until she was 2 years old. Despite this, his wife stood by him for the past 15 years. He was admitted for splenomegaly, pain on his back and ribs, and there was a heart murmur. The diagnosis on the chart mentioned infective endocarditis, with vegetation on the aortic valve, and he is on antibiotics. Last week, test results came back that he was HIV positive, but his CD4 has yet to hit <200. I asked him indirectly whether he had any medical illness, but he said no - either he knew and preferred not to talk about it, or nobody has informed him of his condition..

2. Happy Deepavali, and have a wonderful long weekend :-)


3. Benjamin Carson starts out life with everything against him: an African American child from a single parent home with failing grades at school, ridiculed by others, glued to the television screen, and in need of glasses. But his mother, who dropped out in the third grade, experienced financial struggles, and at one stage was hospitalised for depression, never gave up on him, but instead started making decisions for him and his brother, shutting off their TV habits and ordering them to read two books per week from the library and writing a report of what they read, and Ben started developing his intelligence, imagination and belief in himself. Despite the odds, she also moves them to better schools, as Ben eventually tops the class.

He learns to spell, explore the world of books, grows in creativity. But he also begins to mix with the wrong crowd, and as a result of his short temper, nearly killed somebody. He runs to his room and cries out to God, praying for deliverance from his temper.

The foundation his mother helped to lay in his early days would later proved to be a driving force, as with hard work and a strong desire, he gets a scholarship to college, passing the exam which enables him to enter medical school. Carson faces adversity from fellow doctors and students while working at Johns Hopkins Hospital in MD. It is here he performed a surgery as a resident without attending supervision, risking his medical career to save a man's life. At one point, he also had to deal with the loss of his twins. Eventually it came to a point where he was tasked with performing a complex surgery to separate 2 7-month old German conjoint twins, and he worked out a miracle with success. Today, he is one of the world's leading neurosurgeons, and a professor and director of paediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins University Hospital.

On success

Just a saying Ethan reminded me some time ago..

2 traders went to a few towns in a particular country to scout for prospective business opportunities on behalf of their companies. The 1st one returned and sighed in despair, "The people here don't wear shoes! There is no point for us to waste time here, as there is no way I can sell shoes to them." The second guy came back and proclaimed, "Wow, nobody here wears shoes! Great, we have a huge market!"

Which one are you?

Moving to our new home - Part 1

More updates to come..
Venue: Skudai Parade

Exam season - Snippets of God's faithfulness

"....give thanks for my shepherd, whose sharing deeply encouraged and renewed me in my walk with God. He did mention the importance behind every choices we make, and that one of the key to breakthrough in certain areas that we can see, is seeking 1st God’s kingdom and His righteousness, to lay down ourselves and put Him at the centre of what we do. Then, we see how God is able to open the floodgates of heaven, because 1st and foremost, God looks at the heart, not at your ability. As we continue to do so, we know that He will be with us always, in the things that we do. One example includes how despite his final thesis presentation scheduled the next morning, and he is only half-done with it, he made the decision not to compromise, but to sacrifice whatever little time he had left and attend the Vision and Philosophy class on that very night, and by the time he got home it was already past midnight. Nevertheless, despite the lack of time, able to see how God helped him pull through, and even provided him with the best thesis and overall top architecture student award in UTM. It definitely served as an encouragement to me as we approached the season of final exams.."
Christopher Heng

"....I wanted to testify to God’s goodness over the past week or so, where I have been extremely busy with submission. Although the presentation has been postponed to Friday, but I fell sick on Monday and it became so bad even on Tuesday that I was unable to get out of bed. I felt very weak and needed to rest, and initially did not intend to go for caregroup on Wednesday despite being rostered to come up with games for this week. Nevertheless, I got reminded of a passage where God loves a cheerful giver, and I want to give Him my best. Today, I resolve to tell myself not to complain, give excuses or do things just for the sake of completing it, but in our everyday ministry and serving Him, let us truly see it as a privilege to do so. Throughout the process of preparing and leading games, gradually I experienced God’s renewal not only spiritually, but also physically. All glory belongs to Him."
Jing Jing

You will never walk alone

Matthew 18:20 - For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 - Two are better than one, because they have good return for their work.

Where: Taman Sri Putri, Skudai
When: Wednesday, 7 October 2009, 7.30pm

Photo acknowledgements: Antonius Susanto Thambrin

Light of the world 2

Graduation photos - UTM

Looking back at what had gone down, how time really does flies.. soon my turn will come, probably as quick as next year [sigh]

When 2 become 1 :-)

Whatver the case, You are in control

Currently listening: Planetshakers - Jesus Reigns

Psalm 62 (NIV)
1 My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.

2 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

3 How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

4 They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
Selah

5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

7 My salvation and my honor depend on God [a] ;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah

9 Lowborn men are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie;
if weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.

10 Do not trust in extortion
or take pride in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.

11 One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong,

12 and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Surely you will reward each person
according to what he has done.

Note: Thanks Sze Yean :-)

Here I am waiting.... for an answer, for a breakthrough.

Currently listening: Hillsong - Shout to the Lord

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Psalms 13 (NIV)
1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

Sacrifice / Unconditional love

Synopsis:
Senior Chief Ben Randall is a top legendary rescue swimmer with over 200 saves, who has been juggling his crumbling marriage and his work with the U.S. Coast Guard. When he loses his crew and best friend in a helicopter mishap, he reluctantly chose to take up the post as senior instructor at a Coast Guard training facility to recompose himself, where he encounters Jake Fischer, an arrogant candidate who happens to be a top competitive swimmer with scholarships to every Ivy League university.

Ben's unorthodox training methods turned the entire programme upside down, and egos collide as he tries to force Jake into quitting, but Jake ended up beating all his records. While complaining to his girlfriend, Jake was humbled when the local barkeeper told him about an unbeatable record, when Ben saved all the victims of a ship fire, and with one victim left and a broken winch, held the last victim by his fingertips all the way until the helicopter landed, resulting in severe hand and shoulder injuries.

Nevertheless, Ben learnt about Jake's past, that he was the driver and only survivor of a motor vehicle accident which killed his relay team, and he was searching for his place in life. After being one of the few candidates left who graduated, Jake was posted to Kodiak, Alaska to oversee protection of the Bering Sea, Randall's post. During a rescue mission, Ben experienced a flashback of the night when he lost his crew, and had to be rescued by Jake. At this point, he realises he cannot continue, and hands in his resignation letter.

As Ben remorsefully spent time handing in divorce papers to his wife, and clearing his office, he overheard the radio chatter that Jake is trapped in the hull of a sinking ship while rescuing the crew. Ben gathered his gear and rushes to the scene. He managed to rescue Jake, but as the winch jams and cable unravels, he realises that it can't hold both of them, and unstraps himself, plummeting into the sea, never to be seen again.

"What makes a legend? Is it what someone did when they were alive... or how they're remembered after they're gone? There's a legend — of a man who lives beneath the sea. He's a fisher of men. A last hope for all those who have been left behind. He is known as The Guardian. Ben Randall always said life is about making choices. In the end, by making his, he helped me make mine."

Why God is never late in answering prayer :-)

Currently listening: Your grace is sufficient

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4th year medical students have to do a case write-up on a chronic illness / disability patient as part of their GP posting. So while at my private GP, I clerked and examined a boy who came in with his mum, due to poorly controlled asthma. Took down his medications, and enquired a bit about his family and stuff.. technically I'm supposed to review him again a 2nd time, and I was only at the private GP for 6 weeks, not knowing when he will come in. So in the 2 weeks leading up to the deadline I decided to give my patient's mum a call to check on how they are doing, and to request more information required in the assignment guidelines.

To my horror, the handphone number on the patient's case file was no longer in service, and my GP suggested me going over to the patient's house based on the address given, which I did, but nobody was at home (probably went out to buy food for breaking fast). Costly trip it was to go there twice(RM17 each time by taxi, return trip by bus). Since they were not around on this recent Sunday afternoon, left a note requesting them to contact me, and left. Prayed and ask God to open up a way, coz as much as possible I do not wanna make up stuff (ie cheating)..

It was an agonising wait, 7pm.. 8pm.. 9pm.. and all I've got so far is the basic skeleton of my assignment, with the next day (Monday) being the deadline. Then out of nowhere at 9.45pm I received a phone call from a source I completely did not expect. My GP called, "Gary, you remembered the asthma patient you wanted? I was about to close my clinic when his mum brought him in for an acute exacerbation. He is now on nebuliser. Would you like to talk to the mum?" All of a sudden the rest was history, did my best, and whatever marks came out from the assignment no longer mattered.

Eureka moments from Kukup

Currently listening:
讚美之泉-單單只為你 (Stream of Praise - For You Alone)

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Nice music for stress relief

Overcoming barriers to success - where is your focus?

The fields were parched and brown from lack of rain, and the crops lay wilting from thirst. People were anxious and irritable as they searched the sky for any sign of relief. Days turned into arid weeks. No rain came.

The ministers of the local churches called for an hour of prayer on the town square the following Saturday. They requested that everyone bring an object of faith for inspiration.

At high noon on the appointed Saturday the townspeople turned out en masse, filling the square with anxious faces and hopeful hearts. The ministers were touched to see the variety of objects clutched in prayerful hands - holy books, crosses, rosaries.

When the hour ended, as if on magical command, a soft rain began to fall. Cheers swept the crowd as they held their treasured objects high in gratitude and praise. From the middle of the crowd, one faith symbol seemed to overshadow all the others: A small nine-year old child had brought an umbrella.

Laverne W. Hall
From: Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul

Hi, my name is Jing Jing, and I’m currently studying architecture in UTM. As many of you may already know, architecture is well-known in UTM as a 6-year course that never sleeps. Take a walk around the campus throughout the semester, and chances are there are times when you will find the faculty's studio lights still switched on even though it’s already 3am, as students worked on their projects. Today I want to share about how God helped me breakthrough in the area of focusing on Him in overcoming my challenges.

Recently, I encountered a challenge in the form of my 1st major project. As the deadline drew closer, I don’t even have a direction for my project, no idea of what to come up with. I started getting worried and feeling lost. Therefore I prayed and asked God to give me direction, wisdom, strength and peace. I wanted to finish up my project as much as possible so that I can join the student group’s Eureka Camp. Eventually, I found an interesting topic and God gave me the concentration I have never experienced before, as well as a burning passion for my project. I keep focusing on God’s presence rather than negative feelings, worry and tiredness, His power rather than my ability, His promise rather than circumstances. As a result, peace and joy filled my heart (John 14:27 – Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.).

On Friday before the camp, I intended to submit my finished project. Upon looking through my project, my lecturer asked me whether I am clear about the objectives of my project. I explained my proposal to him, and little did I expect that he would drop a bombshell by saying that my design and its objectives were already flawed right from the beginning, thus he rejected it. That meant I have to start re-doing it all over again from zero. Submission is on Monday and I’m supposed to be joining the camp later that evening! I know I can’t miss Eureka camp, because it is a camp that can change my life. The word ‘Eureka’ itself means ‘I have discovered something’, and I wouldn’t want to miss the experience of learning more about the wonderful plan He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.).

I prayed to God to guide me and give me strength so that I won’t be tired after the camp. By faith, I uphold my project into His hand and made the decision to go for the camp. By the time we returned home from camp, it was already Saturday evening, and next day we have Sunday service. After the camp, I continued with my work and God blessed me with people to help me too. His love sustained me through the entire process. It’s not easy but His presence comforts me.

After a gruelling weekend, I finally submitted my work on Monday. To my surprise, I was the only one who successfully submitted it on time, and this time my lecturer even praised me for my good work. All this is God’s work and blessing. His grace is always sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:9 – But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me). He is faithful as long as I choose to focus on Him and let Him lead me.

Lim Jing Jing
U2A

Decision time

Currently listening: Ana Laura - Completely

I know the situation may not be favourable from all angles at the moment, but I wanna uphold and believe for Your favour for today's decision making.

The Widow's Oil - 2 Kings 4:1-7
1 The wife of a man from the company of the prophets cried out to Elisha, "Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that he revered the LORD. But now his creditor is coming to take my two boys as his slaves." 2 Elisha replied to her, "How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?" "Your servant has nothing there at all," she said, "except a little oil."
3 Elisha said, "Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don't ask for just a few. 4 Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side."
5 She left him and afterward shut the door behind her and her sons. They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. 6 When all the jars were full, she said to her son, "Bring me another one." But he replied, "There is not a jar left." Then the oil stopped flowing.
7 She went and told the man of God, and he said, "Go, sell the oil and pay your debts. You and your sons can live on what is left."

Basically got reminded on how much am I willing to step out and believe when carrying out certain things, as reflected in the number of jars the widow collected - an indication of their faith. God's provision was as large as their faith and willingness to obey. Therefore, do not limit God's ability because He is able to do much more than we can ever imagine (Ephesians 3:20)

Mr Bridges: "Grant, I heard a story about 2 farmers who desperately needed rain, and both of them prayed for rain, but only one of them went out and prepared his fields to receive it.
Which one do you think trusted God to send the rain?"
Grant Taylor: "Well, the one who prepared his fields for it?"
Mr Bridges: "Which one are you? God will send the rain when He is ready. You need to prepare your field to receive it."
-from the movie 'Facing the Giants'-

Forever Strong - The key is the man

Synopsis
Rick Penning (Sean Faris) lives life just like he plays rugby: fast, hard-hitting and intense. When life on the edge lands him in jail, prison ward Marcus Tate (Sean Astin) offers him a chance to get back in the game by playing for longtime rival, Highland Rugby. Reluctantly Rick joins the team where he must adopt the grueling training schedule and unique code of conduct that Highland’s legendary coach (Gary Cole) demands. Egos clash and bitter competitors struggle to find the meaning of “team.”

As on-field battles rage, hearts are challenged and loyalties are tried. Rick Penning has to decide between the life he lived and a life that stands before him. With a national championship on the line, he will learn that the greatest victories are born in the heart.

"It's not about rugby, it's about young men. It's not about building a championship team. It's about building championship boys, boys who will be forever strong."
-Coach Larry Gelwix, Highland Rugby-

Random bits of humour

Honestly speaking..

It may not be much to shout about, and doing medicine is not entirely about this.. but to me it is something meaningful, especially if you have been turning up to class blur and constantly being nagged by bedside tutors despite being in your 2nd last week of O&G.

It may seem like a useless, time-wasting activity, going to the community clinic just to wait for a patient to come in requiring a referral to the hospital. My assignment involves writing an a referral letter for that patient. Yeah, right.. as if its going to happen, even if they need a referral, the family medicine specialist should be able to handle it on site, no need to go to the hospital.

I have people coming up and asking me to fabricate a patient / clerk and make up some details here and there, rather than waste time in such petty matters, might as well use the time to study or do something else.. In fact, one scolded me the week before for asking consent from a patient for pap smears and wasting a golden opportunity to get my log book signed off when the patient turned me down (thanks to my 'stupidity', since chances like these don't come by easily).. Nevertheless, I'm thankful for the staff nurse who subsequently helped me out with that matter. The one-way taxi fare RM10 to go there myself is already burning a hole in my pocket, considering the fact that I'm not very well-to-do. 3 trips there already and still nothing. As mentioned earlier, might as well study right? (since I don't really know much)

Nevertheless, it was an opportunity to teach me that God is never late in fulfilling His promises, and the end does not justify the means. Therefore, do not compromise. A week before the assignment deadline while sitting in with the MO, the MA dropped by to inform that there is a case of fever (suspected dengue). What more could I ask for? Quickly clerked, briefly examined and compared any missed details with the MA and patient's consultation card, and there it was.. The night before the deadline, a word of pessimistic caution came from a friend that the referral letter was supposed to be addressed specifically to a specialist based on the marking scheme, which some tutors are particular about (mine was addressed to the MO of the emergency department). Nevertheless, it's already been typed out, what else could I do, apart from uphold it unto God's hands, for better or worse.

A few days ago, found out that despite being cross-marked by 2 relatively strict tutors, my referral letter turned out to be one of those which were awarded a perfect score. At the end of the day, what more could I ask for?

Because someone picked me up

Will it make a difference?
In Australia, there is a beach where at certain times each year thousands of starfish are washed up on the sand. Usually at night, a high tide, a large wave will bring them in so far that the water won't carry them back out. Then, as the sun shines on the starfish, they slowly dry out and die.

One morning a tourist came out of his hotel for a jog at dawn. Down on the beach he noticed a little boy picking up stranded starfish and throwing them back into the sea. But there were thousands of them up and down the shore.

The man ran up to the boy and said, "I know what you are doing, and I think I know why you're doing it. But there are thousands of starfish here and miles of beach. Do you really think that what you are doing is going to make a difference?"

The boy said, "I don't know. But I think it will make a difference in this one!" And he picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea.

-Excerpt from: 'Whose Child is This?: A story of hope and help for a generation at peril' - by Bill Wilson-

I'll bring You more than a song..

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Long-overdue 1st semester updates - Birthdays of 3J's

Joo's, Ji Keon's, Jia Lin's

A Sustainable Church - 1

水
延续生态的气息 大地的脉搏
造就一片生机勃勃的广袤大地
沧海桑田 历久不衰
周而复始 生生不息

水
带领人类挥别茹毛饮血的荒蛮
孕育出令人叹为观止的灿烂文明
惠及众生 造福后世

神的话语
划破空虚混沌 使无变有
立定大地根基 维系宇宙 哺育万有

神的话语
从天而降的清流 属神的甘霖
使教会得洁净 得装备 得能力
进而与黑暗势力展开一场
历时千年 空前绝后 惊天动地的大决战

恶者歇斯底里地发动连串攻势
威逼利诱 软硬兼施
要将教会逼入历史博物馆的坟墓
然而 从诞生 兴旺
到大逼迫后的如日中天
教会焚而不毁的永续生命力令人心生敬畏
一千年的堕落 腐败 黑暗
无法毁灭神欲使教会永续的应许
难怪拿破仑感叹地说：
“世上的王朝都消逝了，惟有教会仍然存留”

纵观历史 教会所到之处
影响有目共睹 铁证如山

从欧洲开始
骁勇善战 野蛮暴力 摧毁罗马帝国的北欧蛮族
遇上神的真道 即被驯化成为文明人
将古希腊文明发扬光大
缔造灿烂的欧洲文明
要认识上帝的渴慕激发了他们探索世界的熊心
现代科学开始抬头
新发明 新发现 接踵而来
带动农业革命 工业革命
人类进入机器时代 生活水平提升
工人福利更受重视 慈善机构应运而生

到美洲
美国人说：“我们信神”
短短两百年 她从一片蛮荒之地
兴起成为举世无双的超级强国
支配全球的政经文教领域

再看亚洲及非洲
福音的登陆带来了光明与盼望
开拓市镇 设立学校 医院
不人道的殉夫习俗 奴隶买卖 成为历史
千千万万被罪奴役 被传统压迫的灵魂
蒙拯救 得释放

时间的考验证明了教会的永续性
跨地域 越文化的影响 彰显出教会的震撼力
今天 神正在执笔撰写
永续教会传奇的完结篇
“荣耀的教会”
里头的主角不是
保罗 马丁路德 卫斯理约翰
威廉克里 马礼逊 李文斯顿
而是每一个活在这末后世代
全心全意回应他
按着他所赐的蓝图
建立起荣耀教会的子民们
神的子民们 神已发出呼召
让我们跟随这些云彩见证人的脚踪
一同完成这最后的篇章
从荣耀主的手中接过
永不朽坏的荣耀冠冕

2 am

Around this time a year ago, at the walkway between the 2 elevators of the 21st floor, in the backdrop of a dark, cool night and with the sea, lights of Singapore and the clock tower in full view, 3 friends had a moment of sharing their aspirations, and what each desired and expected to see at the end of the 5 years. Reflecting upon that fateful day, has all been forgotten?

Midnight sightings

The thing with being in a tertiary hospital which is supposedly the largest maternity unit in the country in terms of deliveries (perhaps also Asia), is that you get to see things which come out of the blue.

1. Saw one case of holoprosencephaly, where the specialist on call had to perform a cephalocentesis because the baby had hydrocephalus on scanning. Baby was delivered but didn't survive.

2. Patient presented with fever, chills and rigors.. Query dengue fever, patient deteriorated and got admitted to ICU. Urinary pregnancy test positive, so a transvaginal ultrasound done found a stillbirth fetus lying at the os, which was later removed.

3. Since the midwife students went home at 9pm, by hook or by crook I needed to get a normal delivery done, so by the time finished rounds, already midnight. Helped to conduct one, but towards the end the baby became bradycardic, requiring MO's help.. got a signature anyway, left at almost 2am.. need sleep, tomorrow going into OT to witness hysteroscopy. Oh wait, MY EBCP ASSIGNMENT!!!!!

More labour room blues

From my experience and observation so far, Chinese patients have the lowest level of pain tolerance during labour. Don't ask me why, I duno. Today got stuck again in another scenario where I reassured a patient in preterm labour and gave her some N2O for pain relief, patient just grabbed me by the arm refusing to let me go (for 1 hour), asking me to stay with her. I think this happened to the extent that doctors and staff nurses who entered the room was wondering whether I am the patient's relative. She requested for me to deliver her baby, but it was not to materialise, coz a senior staff nurse (one who appears to stride with authority in the labour room, that even housemen and other nurses look up to her) ticked me off, "What are you doing to my patient?!". Instead, she asked me to quickly open the delivery pack as she delivered the baby.

For a moment, I was quite upset lar.. wasted one afternoon. But then, it turned out that the patient was so grateful to me, that out of nowhere she requested for my phone number. I was like, "Its my pleasure and job to help you, just a simple thank you will do lar..why you want my number? No need lar.." She repeatedly kept pestering me in Mandarin, "I am really relieved and thankful to you for staying by my side through it all. Other doctors don't really bother about me, they just drop by for a while and left. But I really really insist you write your number down for me leh, I must show my appreciation and gratitude for what you did.."

Problem was I gave in to her, so I duno whether any medico-legal or ethical issue involved or not lor.. any advice?

December 2008 - It was revealed to me that there is something which I need to learn to overcome sooner or later..

May 2009 - That something has been rearing its ugly head for the past few weeks.. Need to learn to take steps to lay down and breakthrough in this area. My shepherd shared that he could only do so much to encourage and help, what eventually happens depends on what I decide to do with it.

Another night on-call

Tuesday. 12 May 2009. My 3rd day on-call.

Morning
1. Let's start off with what the morning has to offer. Sat in with a specialist during gynaecology clinic. Was looking for a patient to clerk, when one Chinese lady approached me, as if she somehow knew that I was looking for patients to clerk, and those I chose probably can have their waiting time shortened. So I clerked her, she presented with primary subfertility for 4 years post-marriage, and she was in a hurry to 'go to work', and didnt want to end up coming back for another appointment 2 months later. When I presented her to my specialist, got abit of a earful, coz there were other patients with conditions deserving more attention than people like her who refuse to wait.

Then when the specialist eventually looked at her investigation results, it was found that she was not ovulating due to low progesterone levels. One of the MOs who came in was asked this question and got grilled badly coz he could not figure out the problem staring at him through the investigation results, coz he did not attend to the clinic often enough. I think he hated me from then on, when he scolded me for accidentally taking his patient's card.

2. 2nd week in O&G, tired, but coping lar I suppose with the workload, tutors seem to be hinting that my knowledge, history taking and case presentation seems to indicate as if it's my 1st day in O&G. And I need to somehow squeeze time to study and finish my assignments and logbook!!

Evening
3. Not many cases. Most of those in the labour ward were experiencing poor progress of labour since morning, and eventually scheduled for C-section. So couldn't really perform normal deliveries. I did sat in with one of the patients who was supposed to undergo trial of scar, but eventually it was decided that she will undergo C-section. Nevertheless, all the medical and midwifery students missed a normal delivery while we were away momentarily following the specialist on rounds. It happened so quick that it was not on the whiteboard list of admissions.

4. There was a teenage preterm pregnancy. Police report cant really be made coz the perpetrator was 17 years old.

5. Sat in the room trying to study while accompanying that patient of mine. She wanted somebody by her side so that she could grab hold of somebody's hand or scrubs, for reassurance and support whenever she feels pain. Had a chat about family, whether I am Malaysian Chinese (to her, I somehow looked Indian Muslim) etc. Prayed that I will somehow manage to do normal delivery for her, but most importantly; the mother and baby's safety lar.. seems like it was not my day when she got confirmed for LSCS surgery at midnight, to be performed at 4am. So I initially thought of going home for the night, since I was super tired from classes since 7.30 am, and I have to wake up early again the next day. As I went to say goodnight and all the best to my patient for her surgery, suddenly I realised there was a new case in the next room.. So rushed in and asked for permission to conduct, and there! I got my normal delivery!! Finally can go home to rest after assisting her episiotomy..

Next day as I walked through the obstetrics ward for ward rounds, I heard somebody snapping her fingers shouting out "Doktor! Doktor!" Turning to my right, there was my patient from last night, smiling and waving to me, asking me to come over to see her baby.. Cute little baby boy, asleep from a long night.. Successful operation, mother and baby safe :-)

A love song on Mother's Day

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Sentuh Hatiku
by Maria Shandi

Betapa kumencintai
Segala yang t'lah terjadi
Tak pernah sendiri jalani hidup ini
Selalu menyertai

Betapa kumenyadari
Di dalam hidupku ini
Kau slalu memberi rancangan yang terbaik
Oleh karena kasih

Chorus
Bapa, sentuh hatiku
Ubah hidupku menjadi yang baru
Bagai emas yang murni
Kau membentuk bejana hatiku

Bapa, ajarku mengerti
Sebuah kasih yang selalu memberi
Bagai air mengalir
Yang tiada pernah berhenti

2nd night on-call

Friday, 8 May 2009
6.30 pm - Started my on-call by standing by a Chinese during her delivery. She was remarried with a 2nd husband. 4th pregnancy (history of 3 miscarriages). I think she was so scared and in pain that her grip nearly broke off my ring and little fingers. Had to reassure her and give inhaled anaesthesia / sedative.. When she finally delivered, aside from suturing the episiotomy, the MO and nurses left the room.. she hung on to my hand tightly, begging me not to leave, coz she was afraid, and lonely coz nobody came to visit her. So accompanied her a further 15 minutes or so lar, reassuring her that everything is fine, had a bit of chat about me being a student, not being able to speak Chinese convincingly (that's why during delivery the staff nurse of mixed Malay-Chinese descent commented that my choice of Mandarin words sounded funny) etc. Then her husband came looking for her when she has been transferred to the Pusat Bersalin, had to show the husband where it is..

10.00 pm - For a moment I thought could get my 1st OT signed off with a Caesarian section.. after a long exhaustive wait for 45 minutes.. the baby came out via normal vaginal delivery on the OT table.. *swt* even the MO to perform the surgery was shaking his head.

Saturday, 9 May 2009
12.45 am - Vietnamese lady married to a Malaysian Chinese husband. Husband was asked to come in to translate the doctor's instructions for the wife when straining / pushing. Instead the husband got so excited, that from the way he encouraged his wife to push, it would seem like I'm watching the scene of a die-hard Japanese football fan's reaction in front of the TV when his team is about to score a goal.

1.20 am - I conducted 2 deliveries.. both ended up as instrumental ones with vacuum coz if we wait any longer, the outcome for the baby is not so good (Argh, I needed to do my normal deliveries!!), but oh well, got one vaginal exam signed off as well.

1st on board

Yes, I delivered my 1st baby today!!! Co-shared with a midwifery student (thankful the staff nurse allowed me to coz usually when midwifery students are there during the day, they get preference over us).. He weighs 3.55 kgs with an Apgar score of 9. Delivery time: 10.30 am in the Labour room. 4 more to go..

p/s: And in my enthusiasm to cross over to help the staff nurse perform an episiotomy upon invitation, I accidentally hit my head on the overhead lamp (twice), in full view of the patient.. *swt* Ouch.. but nevertheless, she wished me all the best :-)

Musings in times of busy-ness

A few repeat incidents occured today..

1. In the gynaecology ward, I was flipping through the case notes of the patient I'm following up on, and the nurse asked me how come the file was so thick.. to my surprise, I realised I was reading the wrong case notes. So I reacted sheepishly as I returned the case notes to the patient in the next bed. The middle aged lady in the bed beside my patient's bed told her, "The doctor looking after you very 'cute' leh.. (hen ke ai) eh are you Malaysian Chinese ar? You got the Japanese look leh etc etc" I was like *swt*

2. I asked the specialist to sign my ward round attendance. She commented, "Ur name is Gary ar? Eh, macam itu Spongebob punya siput kan? Nama pun sama."

That aside,
3. I remembered a Vietnamese friend of mine in YA CG last year.. long time didnt talk to her already.. last Sunday I had the opportunity to catch up with her for a while, since it has been quite some time.. I remembered when I first met her then, was very encouraged to see that although she was a foreigner among Chinese, with language difficulties and despite her boss making it difficult for her to attend CG and camps, she still has the heart to try her best to come. I thank God for her testimony which she shared about her life being changed from being a very pessimistic person away from home, to one who found hope in the midst of a family away from her biological family. She is actively serving in Sunday school and recently she shared that she had been retrenched, and might be sent back to Vietnam soon by her employers. But it is encouraging to see her still hanging in there optimistically, and in return she did comment that I changed a lot since my days in YA. I guess in due time, we all need to grow :-)

10th Southern region and international church camp

A Sustainable Church

Jesus is building His church to be His end-time instrument that will establish His kingdom on Earth. Though difficulties or attacks may occur, the church will survive until God's plan is fulfilled. God wants to use His people to carry out His vision. God's will is for all churches to be sustainable for the Master's use. He will do His best to sustain each local church, but each should do its part as well.

We do not want to build a church that lasts only for a short time, but one that will last until Jesus returns. How can we be sure that our church is sustainable? Come and join brothers and sisters from Southern region, East Malaysia, Indonesia, India and Taiwan, as we find out more!

Date: 4-7 June 2009
Venue: Peacehaven, Genting

Today I got reminded...

..to guard my heart after each small victory (eg not to become like Elijah ran in fear despite after a 'fire fall down from heaven' victory over the prophets of Baal, or Joshua whose army got defeated in Ai after conquering Jericho, because of 1 person's mistake), so that the fire and momentum doesn't get stolen away.

..to ask myself how I can improve and better understand the urgency and importance of this Vision.

..that the key is indeed the man, and whether certain things come to past depends on what the person sees, and eventually his actions.

..that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Thank you for a wonderful sharing over a cup of tea.

Reminiscence

Belated AngPao Sunday photos


Currently listening:

My Redeemer Lives - Stream of Praise

No greater love

Pressing on - vol. 2

1. Midway through my paediatrics posting.. and I realised that I still have a long way to go, from the backlogged amount of things I need to read up, to the online assignments (doing it can be the bane of my existence since I can be real ignorant about EBCP and HSM). Ok, so I've gone from never handling a child before, to watching one die during emergency resuscitation (heart failure) last week, to entering the neonatal ward (finally).. At times during classes, can feel kind of stupid lar when quite a number of questions duno how to answer (still in the process of refreshing medicine and surgery from last year), but at times, I also duno how to impart to people who asked that I survived (or should I said stumbled my way thru) last year not by my ability or intelligent capacity (ie not by how much i studied), but by God's grace..

2. A phone call from home left me with something I don't really need at this point of time: a reminder of past and ongoing issues. Nevertheless coping with God's grace.

3. 2 weeks ago, watched a movie - Fireproof; about a firefighter whose 7 year marriage is falling apart, amid his attitude problems. As they prepare for divorce, his father challenged him to a 40-day love dare to save their marriage.

From the movie, 2 scenes struck me deep inside:
1. Caleb's dad suggested that things probably are not working probably because he is just doing the bare minimum to get past. In other words, need to go all out and give our best.
2. After Day 20, Caleb becomes frustrated that his wife is not responding at all to his efforts, because he has been relying on his own strength. His dad explained to him that the halfway point is the most difficult because you have to decide whether your heart is really into it or not.

Ever felt that with very passing day, as we get busier, as new things pop up, as if you are knocking on a door which will never ever open? But I wanna thank a friend who forwarded his reflection on whether certain things are worth it. In the past few weeks, thankful to have been refreshed.. Stories of Joseph who went from prison to prime minister, the 4 men helping the paralytic through the roof and the woman with a blood disorder who pushed through the crowd; people who got more than they could have ever imagined.

Yesterday Sunday worship, there was a song that really spoke to my heart, it was previously sung by one sister, a teacher, who shared her testimony last week - in summary how people around her did not give up on her, and despite the various trials and challenges, her persistence paid off, her character got moulded as she continued to lay down herself, and she was able to be a blessing and encouragement to many people. A simple song, but one which brought forth a deep longing and revival inside which I have not felt in a while.. Responded, knelt down and prayed.

Kukerjakan VisiMu

Bawaku berjalan bersamaMu
Tuhanlah yang jadi kekuatanKu
Dan taruh RohMu dalam hati ku
Agarku kenal kehendakMu

Chorus
Ini aku ingatlah Tuhan
Ku berikan hidupku bagi Mu
Berapapun harga yang 'kan ku bayar
Kukerjakan visiMu